Did you know February is National Snack Food Month? Its true. And did you know that I am the (self-proclaimed) Queen of Snacks? It is in veritas.*
*Wanton use of Latin proves either my royalty or the fact that I’m a homeschooling mom.
I think this calls for a serious application of my snack food bonafides. (MORE LATIN!) There is no better way to kick off National Snack Food Month than with the King of All Snack Food (no relation): SOFT PRETZELS! Clearly, I’m excited here. I’m so excited I’m all capsy. Or should I say, I’M ALL CAPSY!? And exclamation marky?!?!! I’m sorry. Snack food thrills me.
Soft pretzels are one of my all-time favourite foods. On any given day at any given time any given person could walk up to me and say, “Would you like a soft pretzel?” and I would, in all likelihood, say, “Yes, please, stranger. I will eat this glorious soft pretzel you have offered to me.” (Because I’m also queeny and perpetually hungry.) I do not turn down soft pretzels.
Plain old (pshaw, plain?) soft pretzels are always acceptable and delicious, however…
…As Queen of Snacks, I feel obliged to kick off this best of months with something extra spectacular, and so, I give you: The Everything Bagel Soft Pretzel. Oh yes.
Sidebar: If anything comes close to the magical, mystical soft pretzel in the hierarchy of my snack food affection, it is most definitely the everything bagel. I love pop and crackle of the garlic flakes, onion flakes, poppy seeds, sesame seeds and coarse salt on top of the chewy brown bread in each bite. Cream cheese is not negotiable. It’d better be on there and thick, I tell you. End sidebar.
Bonus Sidebar/Confession: Every single time I attempt to type “poppy seeds” (including the one immediately preceding this parenthetical reference) I accidentally type “poopy”. Also in veritas. More Latin. End bonus sidebar.
How good are these? Let me paint you a picture… You open the oven and a blast of the scent of hot, freshly baked bread mingled with toasted garlic and onion hits you. The tray is full of deep, glossy brown soft pretzels topped with a crusty layer of garlic and onion bits, poppy and sesame seeds and crunchy salt. You force yourself to wait five minutes so you don’t burn off a layer of skin from the inside of your mouth. You smear cold cream cheese on the pretzel and some seeds and bits fall away. You don’t want to waste any of it so you touch the side of the cream cheese coated knife to them and glance around you. No one’s looking so you carefully eat it from the knife. But then you sink your teeth into that pretzel. The cream cheese is still mostly cold, but has started melting just a bit where it is sitting on the warm pretzel. Crackle, pop, BAM, mmmmmm. This is everything a snack food should be. EVERYTHING. It’s not just an everything bagel topping pretzel it is the EVERYTHING PRETZEL.
I’m off to go rest my capsy fingers and eat another pretzel, but first, a royal poll question: What’s your favourite snack food ever? Do you tend to like savoury or sweet snacks better?
Now off with you. I declare that you shall make these Everything Pretzels and eat them.
P.S. Need help finding any of the seeds or flakes called for in this recipe? Go to the “Other Goodies” section of our Books, Gears and Supplies store.