The telemarketer actually called me ‘honey’. Foodie needs to vent.

I received a call this morning from a telemarketer.  Interestingly, we're on the do-not-call registry, but evidently these folks have found a way around the law.  Would this have irritated anyone else or am I crazy?  And in case you're wondering why I didn't hang up immediately it's because I couldn't believe this guy said what he did.  Really.   I'll reproduce our conversation below.  My thoughts will be in italics. Picking up the phone...   Me:  Hello?   Telemarketer Neanderthal (henceforth TN, speaking in a very smarmy tone of voice):  Hi.  Can I speak to the man of the house?   Me:  He's not in.  I'm his wife.  May I help you?  Aw geez.  How long is this going to take?   TN:  No, I'm calling to speak to the man of the house about something that's really important but would probably bore you.   Me:  Wow.  Where'd they dig this guy up?  Why don't you try me?  I'm pretty smart.   TN:  Well, *honey*, it's about sealing your basement walls and I'm pretty sure I'd better speak to the man of the house.  I don't think you would understand.   Me:  Well, I think you might be underestimating me.  More importantly, the man of the house wouldn't really like to speak with someone who talks to his wife like that.  Now kindly note that we're on the do-not-call registry and take us off your list permanently.   Hanging up enthusiastically with steam shooting out of ears.      Am I nuts? … {Read on...}

Weird food loves and the foodies who love them… Share your secret food loves.

I was popping a tray of cheesy toast (that's simply bread toasted under the broiler, topped with cheese and then broiled again until the cheese is bubbly and brown in bits) under the broiler and was thinking how everyone has weird food loves that you wouldn’t serve to anyone but yourself and any family who shares your odd culinary bent. This also got me to thinking about the vast quantities of junk food I've consumed over the years.  I spent some time mulling it over and wondered if I could get other people to divulge their weird food loves.  Let's be honest.  We foodies might not really want to admit to liking some of these things for fear of being laughed at by the foodie community at large.  I, personally, have zero problem making a fool of myself as it is something I have put a great deal of effort into doing over the years.  So I'll kick it off...   I have a strange love for anything involving cheese or (gasp) cheese products; cheesy toast, soft OR hard pretzels with either real cheese or cheese whiz, refried bean and pasteurized cheese dip, toasted cheese rounds on top of my dinner salads, etc…  There were more times than I could count in high school and college that I made a meal out of salsa con queso and Snyder's Sourdough Pretzels.    Some of my other non-refined food loves?  Andy Capp's Hot Fries, deep fried mozzarella sticks, deep fried mushrooms, well- anything non-offal or reproductive organ that's deep fried, Funyons, Snickers bars, Dr. Pepper (Why, … {Read on...}

Dad’s Zucchini Burgers


I am in the middle of a protracted battle for space with the gargantuan zucchini that keep miraculously popping up in my garden.  After last night's garden veggie (read: zucchini) and quinoa stew, I was feeling out of ideas.  Then I thought, "Why do I need to come up with ideas?  I can fall back on a favorite."  ...And so a batch of zucchini patties came about.   Zucchini patties (or burgers as my Dad calls them) were Dad's go-to dinner when he cooked for my sister and I who were both vegetarians in our teen years.  I have since once again become an omnivore.  I missed bacon.  And ham.  And beef.  And turkey.  Oh, you get the point.  The patties were dead cheap to make and they made two teenage girls and their little brother very happy.  I can see why he made them frequently.  Dad's zucchini patties were always perfect; crispy on the outside, moist but firm on the inside, with lots of salt and pepper.  Shortly after moving out and getting my first place I asked Dad how he made them.  He replied that he started with a grated zucchini and added stuff (egg, bread crumbs, onion, etc...) until it was 'right'.  Da-ad (read that like a whiny teenage girl).  Once again it fell to me- the obsessively measuring, quantity recording daughter- to write down the family recipe.    I haven't made these in front of Dad yet so I can't officially give his stamp of approval but they taste about right to me.   Dad's Zucchini Burgers   As indicated by the name, these patties … {Read on...}

It’s a Yummy Earth.


My sister Jessamine's kids have severe food allergies.  The last time I had a peek at the list of no-no foods it included soy, corn, dairy, gluten, wheat, chemical preservatives and chemical dyes, among other things.  Those of you who spend as much time as I do staring at and clucking over product labels will recognize that the preceding list pretty much eliminates all the 'fun' food that we remember as kids.  Last year, though, Jess found candies that actually were acceptable for her kids to eat.  She was rapturous over the phone telling me that she had found stuff her kids could have at Halloween.  I, being the optimist that I am, was a shade more skeptical. **   **Healthy versions of junk food often taste, er- how to say?- much like cardboard.  The flavors are off and/or dull, the colors are BORING, and the texture sometimes borders on gag-inducing.  So this is the opinion that tempered my enthusiasm for my sister's discovery. Sometime after Jess ordered her five pounds of healthy lollipops she came to visit.  She plunked a container up on the counter and invited my kids to eat a few.  I was shocked.  The first thing thing that hit me was their vibrant coloring.  These things rivalled Lifesavers with their brilliant hues.  I waited for the kids' reactions to the candy.  Shock number two.  They finished the first ones quickly and begged for seconds.  At that point I needed to try one.   Holy cow!  They were so good.  They were tangy, sweet and sour all at … {Read on...}

Don’t read this post if you hate! (Freebie!!!!)

I am not going to make a habit of this.  Because I want to make sure those who are here strictly for the food don't have to read any shameless stumping for I will put the rest of this post after the jump...   … {Read on...}