Chocolate

I’m just going to go ahead and say it now because I’ve been biting my tongue for nearly a month now; I don’t like hot weather. It makes me sweat. And sweating makes me cranky. Ergo, heat makes me cranky. I don’t mean the lovely warmth of a kitchen where bread is baking on a cold winter’s day. I mean humid, sticky, drinkable air, back-of-the-legs-sticking-to-the-lawn-chair hot and an ambient air temperature with which you could coddle an egg.

My attitude is, admittedly, not the best vis-a-vis sultry summer heat, but The Evil Genius goes and makes it worse. He operates on an entirely different energy level when it’s sticky out. Ninety degrees? He does a happy dance and gets up on the roof to do some highly intricate job involving difficult physical manoeuvres and wiring and tar. The fact that we have a metal roof that heats up like a griddle and he has to do the job in bare feet to keep from slipping? No problem! That makes it more fun for him. Ninety five to a hundred degrees? Even better for him! Too hot to stand on the griddle, er, roof so he repairs to the golf course for a double round -walking while carrying his own golf bag, of course- and maybe more. The he comes home, towels off and toddles outside to dig a ditch in the full sun or some other such madness. After nearly fifteen years of marriage I’ve come to the inescapable conclusion that he does it just to watch me get mad. Because ooh I get mad watching him galavanting out there in the heat like the mercury is narry a notch above sixty. He gets sweatier and happier and I turn into the mean old troll hag under the bridge. “What’s for dinner? Cold salad with cold dressing and some lunch meat. That’s what!”

Heat saps my energy, my mental function, my patience, my strength -and most unforgivably- my appetite. It is the one thing in the world with the power to make me lose my insatiable hunger. And that. just. isn’t. cool.

There is one evergreen craving that stays with me whatever temperature the thermometer is pushing; sweets. But I don’t want to spend hours or even halves of hours standing over something else that’s radiating heat (OVEN). And so? And so. And so, where was I?*

*I told you it sapped my brain function.

Ah yes, dessert with no blazing inferno of an oven spewing BTUs into my already furnace-like kitchen. Boo, Dante. BOO! You want seven levels of he… (Oh my word, back on track, Rebecca. Don’t scare the nice readers with your heat-rage.) Sweet, cold, creamy chocolate dessert that uses a microwave and and a refrigerator. Just what I need to tame the beast. I present to you “Black Forest Truffle Tart”. And there was much rejoicing.

Here’s what we have going on in this tart. You can start with a pre-made Oreo crust (or the off-brand equivalent) or you can make like me and fashion your own because really -and you know I wouldn’t mess with you when it comes to cooking in the heat- it only takes about two more minutes and no extra heat. (Psssst. It’s cheaper that way, too. Plus you get leftover cookies that you can stick in the freezer and nibble surreptitiously while the kids aren’t looking.) Into it goes a whipped ganache* filling that is topped with sweet black cherry pie filling**.

*Ganache, in case you haven’t become acquainted yet, is a chocolate confection given to us by God in his infinite love for mankind. In its purest form, it is simply chocolate melted with heavy cream then whisked until silky and shiny. It is the base for all chi-chi chocolate truffles that cost a bajillion dollars for six at chocolatiers. Master this and you will live happily ever after. Or at least until you run out of chocolate and heavy cream.

**Now I know I’m putting the cart before the horse with this post, but I prefer to use (surprise) homemade pie filling I’ve canned myself. I am, truly I am, going to share my homemade pie filling recipe this week. But this is an emergency. It’s hot. And I KNOW I can’t be the only mean old crab-a-lanche out there who needs some sweet chocolatey goodness to feel human again. So if you need to -or want to- make this with store-bought pie filling go for it! My pie filling recipe will be up by Thursday.

While this tart is stupendous cold, it is also pretty spectacular at room temperature. Assuming, that is, room temperature is not EQUATORIAL room temperature. If you asked my inner pastry-chef, I’d tell you it’s better at room temperature because the chocolate has a fuller flavor. If you asked my outer whiner who is apt to be laying on the linoleum under the ceiling fan with a spray bottle of cold water, I’d say eat it cold. Either way, you’ll love it.

Oh. A word. It’s pretty rich. Not that I have a problem with that. At all. Just sayin’ keep those slices on the thin side. That way, when you go back in to the refrigerator for your third or fourth slice, you won’t be wracked with guilt. I’m always looking out for you. Even when I’m sweaty and crabby.

For a printer friendly, photo-free version of this recipe minus crabby, click here!

Black Forest Truffle Tart

Ingredients:

1 Oreo pie crust (or see instructions below for making your own)
1 1/2 cups (12 fluid ounces) heavy cream
12 ounces chocolate chips
2 cups chilled sweet cherry pie filling

Place heavy cream and chocolate chips into a microwave safe bowl. Microwave on high for one minute. Leave in the microwave with the door shut for five minutes afterward. Remove bowl and whisk until smooth and shiny. It will go through a very raggedy looking stage where you will think I’ve steered you wrong. Keep whisking in a circle. I promise it’ll all work out. When it becomes shiny and smooth put the bowl and whisk in the refrigerator. Remove the bowl from the refrigerator every fifteen minutes and give it a good stir with the whisk. After about forty five minutes to an hour, you’ll feel the ganache beginning to thicken up. It should be cool to the touch all the way through.

Scrape the contents into the bowl of your stand mixer. (Alternately, you can use a hand-mixer or whisk the tar out of it by hand, but that’s rather defeating the purpose of not getting sweaty in the kitchen. Dontcha think?) Turn the mixer on high and go just until the ganache starts becoming fluffy and thickened. If you go beyond this stage you will have made what is effectively chocolate butter. Mind you, that’s not necessarily a problem, but it’s not what we’re shooting for here.

Use a rubber spatula to transfer the contents to your pie crust and smooth the top. Spread the pie filling over the top of the ganache and chill the pie until the ganache is set up. This will take about thirty minutes.

Slice into thin wedges and serve, if desired, with whipped cream. Normally I’m an all-whipped-cream-all-the-time gal, but this tart brings out my purist tendencies. My inner pastry chef is begging for a word with you. She says if you want to get the fullest flavor from your tart you will leave the slices on the plates for at least ten minutes prior to serving. I say she’s nuts. Eat it cold!

Homemade Chocolate Cookie Crust

Ingredients:

Half of a package of Oreo type cookies (or Newman’s O’s or Hydrox, whatever flicks your bic.) I like to use the chocolate cream filled ones for a double dose of chocolate.
3 Tablespoons melted butter

Crush the cookies in a zipper top bag or pulse until finely crushed in a food processor. Mix the melted butter in with a fork and press into a pie plate or removable bottom tart pan. That’s all there is to it!

Now that I have the attention of the entire state of Minnesota, please allow me to expound.

This is one of the most clever ideas I’ve seen out of the King Arthur Flour Baker’s Circle lately. (And they’re no creative slouches over at King Arthur.) In the most recent e-newsletter* from their test kitchen they included a recipe for Cocoa Blocks.

*If you’d like to receive their free e-newsletter, you can click this link and look for the sign-up box in the lower right hand corner of the page.

Oh sweet merciful heavens. Cocoa blocks. Very utilitarian name, no? Nothing against my King Arthur folks, because I really do love them, but I think the name doesn’t do justice to these little beauties. I’ve renamed them. Henceforth, they shall be called Hot Chocolate On A Stick.

Hot Chocolate on a Stick is a creamy chocolate confection that is much like an ultra-rich fudge. You can, as the new title indicates, put these blocks of chocolatey goodness on sticks for ease in swirling it in hot milk or nibbling.

Or, if you’re a rebel (or not from the Midwest), you can simply leave the squares alone and stir them into your hot drinks. Or you can go another step, as I am wont to do, and skewer a marshmallow on top of the block of chocolate.

And since we’re playing with marshmallows already, why not make them homemade*? That opens up the possibilities of all kinds of decadent flavor combinations; mocha chocolate with cocoa marshmallows, orange chocolate with vanilla marshmallows, plain chocolate with raspberry marshmallows, or pure chocolate and vanilla marshmallows.

~~~ ~~~

*Last year Val posted a homemade marshmallow recipe in our Homemade Christmas Gifts series. (See that post here!) Homemade marshmallows, if you’ve never had them, are a completely different animal than those little round foam-like jobbies you get in bags at the grocery store. They’re ethereally light, sweet and endlessly customizable. Have a hankering for an orange flavored marshmallow without the nasty food coloring? It can be done. Want a mocha marshmallow? (Just try finding THAT at your local mega-mart.) It’s only moments away. You get my drift, right?

So if you combine luscious, velvety, rich fudge with light-as-air homemade marshmallows it should follow that what you’ve created is heavenly. And it is. Oh, it is! Not to put too fine a point on it, but having these in my kitchen was the only thing standing between me and a potential sale of my children to the gypsies early career apprenticeship commitment for my children. I hid in the bathroom with a ‘Hot Chocolate on a Stick’ and nibbled my irritation away.

I could’ve taken a cup of hot milk to the bathroom with me, but I was in a hurry, people. I needed the chocolate and I needed it fast. The kids, on the other hand, found the stash while I was hiding (and small price to pay for the peace it brought me) and stirred theirs into hot cups of milk. I hear tell that they enjoyed it immensely. The chocolate rings around their mouths bore out their testimony.

Kid tested. Mother approved.

~~~ ~~~

May I recommend that you whip up a batch or two or three of these? Keep one batch for yourself. Wrap one batch in plastic and pretty ribbons for gift-giving. And that last batch? Well, give it away one at a time to your kids’ teachers, bus drivers, your preacher, the mail carrier, the elderly man or woman down the road who lost their spouse this year, the gal in the apartment two doors down who looks a little lonely, or anyone else who looks like they could use a good dose of seasonal cheer.

Let’s do a quick refresher on the marshmallows:

Homemade Marshmallows

Follow this link for the original post and a printable version of this recipe.

This is mainly Val’s recipe, but I’ve added a few of my own notes.

Ingredients:

.75-oz unflavored gelatin (3 envelopes of Knox gelatin)
1/2 cup cold water
2 cups granulated sugar
2/3 cups light corn syrup
1/4 cup water
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract (or other flavor extract)
Confectioners’ sugar

Line 9 x 9-inch or 8 x 8-inch pan with plastic wrap and lightly oil it using your fingers or non-stick cooking spray. Set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, sprinkle gelatin over 1/2 cup cold water. Soak for about 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, combine sugar, corn syrup and 1/4 cup water in a small saucepan. Bring the mixture to a rapid boil. As soon as it is boiling, set the timer and allow to boil hard for 1 minute.

Carefully pour the boiling syrup into soaked gelatin and turn on the mixer, using the whisk attachment, starting on low and moving up to high speed. Add the salt and beat for between 10 and 12 minutes, or until fluffy and mostly cooled to almost room temperature. After it reaches that stage, add in the extract and beat to incorporate.

Grease your hands and a rubber or silicone scraper with neutral oil and transfer marshmallow into the prepared pan. Use your greased hands to press the marshmallow into the pan evenly. Take another piece of lightly oiled plastic wrap and press lightly on top of the marshmallow, creating a seal. Let mixture sit for a few hours, or overnight, until cooled and firmly set.

Sprinkle a cutting surface very generously with confectioner’s sugar.

Remove marshmallow from pan and lay on top of the sugar.

Dust the top generously with sugar as well.

Use a large, sharp knife to cut into squares.

Separate pieces and toss to coat all surfaces with the sugar.
Store in an airtight container.

Now for the Hot Chocolate on a Stick!

Hot Chocolate on a Stick

Scroll to the bottom for an easy-print version of this recipe!

Ingredients:

½ cup heavy cream
14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk (1 1/4 cups)
3 cups semisweet chocolate (3 cups chopped chocolate bars or chips)
3/4 cup unsweetened baking chocolate (4 ounces)
wooden sticks, lollipop sticks, candy canes or bamboo skewers
optional, crushed candy canes, marshmallows and/or cocoa powder

Line an 8 x 8-inch pan or a 9 x 9-inch pan with foil and set aside.

Combine the cream and sweetened condensed milk in a heavy bottomed saucepan over medium heat. Heat until it is steaming, but not boiling, stirring occasionally to keep from scorching.

Add all of the chocolate and remove from the heat. Allow the chocolate to melt, undisturbed, for 10 minutes.

After 10 minutes, whisk firmly until it is thick and shiny. You can add a few drops of flavoring extract or oil at this point, or add some powdered espresso or vanilla. Whisk vigorously again to incorporate the flavoring (if used.)

Use a rubber or silicone spatula to spread the mixture out evenly in your prepared, foil-lined pan.

Allow to cool at room temperature 12 hours or overnight so that it firms slowly.

Take the fudge from the pan and remove the foil. Place on a cutting board.

Using a knife heated with hot water and wiped dry, cut the fudge into 36 equal-sized cubes. You can either stick a lollipop stick (or candy cane) into the center of each block or leave as is. Additionally, you can press the cut sides of the fudge into crushed candy canes, roll them in cocoa powder or top with marshmallows.

Eat immediately or wrap tightly and store at room temperature.

If you make more than one batch and use different flavorings for the marshmallows or chocolate, you can use different colored ribbons to indicate the flavors. Silver for mocha chocolate and vanilla marshmallows, gold for plain chocolate and raspberry marshmallows, for instance…

Hey… Someone’s snuck off with my raspberry marshmallow Hot Chocolate on a Stick…

Oh well, I’ll make more.

Remember, it’s Christmas time!

Hot Chocolate on a Stick

Author: Rebecca Lindamood Adapted from King Arthur Flour

Recipe type: dessert, candy

Prep time: 15 mins

Cook time: 15 mins

Total time: 30 mins

Serves: 36

This creamy chocolate fudge confection can be nibbled in its pure form, skewered on a stick alone or with homemade marshmallows and simply eaten or swirled into hot milk for a hot chocolate that is second to none.

Ingredients

½ cup heavy cream
14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk (1¼ cups)
3 cups semisweet chocolate (3 cups chopped chocolate bars or chips)
¾ cup unsweetened baking chocolate (4 ounces)
wooden sticks, lollipop sticks, candy canes or bamboo skewers
optional, crushed candy canes, marshmallows and/or cocoa powder

Instructions

Line an 8 x 8-inch pan or a 9 x 9-inch pan with foil and set aside.
Combine the cream and sweetened condensed milk in a heavy bottomed saucepan over medium heat. Heat until it is steaming, but not boiling, stirring occasionally to keep from scorching.
Add all of the chocolate and remove from the heat. Allow the chocolate to melt, undisturbed, for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, whisk firmly until it is thick and shiny. You can add a few drops of flavoring extract or oil at this point, or add some powdered espresso or vanilla. Whisk vigorously again to incorporate the flavoring (if used.)
Use a rubber or silicone spatula to spread the mixture out evenly in your prepared, foil-lined pan. Allow to cool at room temperature 12 hours or overnight so that it firms slowly.
Take the fudge from the pan and remove the foil. Place on a cutting board.
Using a knife heated with hot water and wiped dry, cut the fudge into 36 equal-sized cubes. You can either stick a lollipop stick (or candy cane) into the center of each block or leave as is. Additionally, you can press the cut sides of the fudge into crushed candy canes, roll them in cocoa powder or top with marshmallows.
Wrap tightly and store at room temperature.

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