Routines can be good things, but getting them to become routine is the tricky bit. And fitting everything extra (cooking, planning, friends, activities) into this fresh Fall routine?  Hoo boy. It makes me feel a little [...]]]> Wake. Breakfast. School. Work.  Snack. School. Work. Lunch. School. Work. Snack. Work. Chores. Play. Dinner. Play. Bed. Repeat 4 times.  Weekend.

Routines can be good things, but getting them to become routine is the tricky bit. And fitting everything extra (cooking, planning, friends, activities) into this fresh Fall routine?  Hoo boy. It makes me feel a little panicky.

Feeling panicky fires up my organizational thinking.  Give me boxes.  Give me label guns.  Give me a freezer full of quick meals.  Watch me go people!

Stocking your freezer with items that can form the base of a fast homemade meal is a sanity saver.  And please.  Pretty please, don’t suggest once-a-month cooking to me.  I’ve tried it.  I failed. Miserably.  I am a fickle girl and while I approach it with enthusiasm, I fall down on it for the same reason that I can’t shop for a month at a time.  My solution is to make rubber chicken meal starters; big batches of food that form the base of many quick meals.

I’ve got a kids-of-all-ages pleasing, time-saving, budget-friendly, brain-soothing rubber chicken meal that all starts with a lip-smacking Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger Meal Starter. Once you have this meal starter under your belt you can stir it into macaroni and cheese, top a pita-bread or pizza dough with it and pile on some grated cheese before baking it then tossing on chopped tomatoes and onions for a quick cheeseburger pizza, scoop it up with tortilla chips for some barbecue bacon cheeseburger nachos for game day*.) But today?  Today is all about the Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger Stuffed Sandwiches.

Oh yes, my dears.  I am about to make you very popular.  Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger Stuffed Sandwiches do everything but your windows.  They make a fantastic brown-bag lunch (if you have access to a way to heat it at lunch time), great dinner-on-the-go, incomparable hand-held tailgating (or sports watching) snack food, and they’re freezer friendly to boot.  By removing the sandwiches from the oven a few minutes early and wrapping with foil before freezing, you have the foundation for a meal that is done in thirty minutes or less on hand.  I tell you that if you serve these with a big pile of Cowboy Candy you will be a certifiable super star.  Gimme a high-five!*

*I have a decidedly geeky habit of high-fiving.  My kids and high-school senior sister have tried to cool-ify my high-fives by adding a fist-bump and some slide-y action afterward and telling me not to yell, ‘HIGH FIVE!’ with it but I fear they’ve only succeeded in pointing out that no matter what I do, I will never, ever be cool again. My food, however, is crazy cool. Because all my cool is poured into my food there is none left for me.  It’s a price I’m willing to pay.

So let’s recap.  Cook this big batch of meal starter (you already won because it has BACON in it!).  Divide it up into smaller portions and freeze or refrigerate those portions.  Use one portion to make Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger Stuffed Sandwiches (a meal-starter in and of themselves because they freeze like a dream.  A dream I tell you!).  Are you excited yet?  I am.  Let’s get cooking…

HIGH FIVE!

For a photo-free, printer-friendly version of this recipe click here!

(The printer-friendly version of the recipe contains instructions on preparing the bread dough by hand or by stand-mixer.)

To Make Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger Stuffed Sandwiches

Ingredients:

• 3 cups Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger Meal Starter (see recipe below)
• 1 batch of Buttermilk Sandwich Bread dough or 2 pounds thawed frozen or other bread dough of your choice. (See recipe for bread dough below.)
• 1 egg beaten with 1 Tablespoon water (for egg wash.)

Optional:

• Sesame seeds, poppy seeds or minced onion for topping

Preheat oven to 400°F.  Line a large baking sheet with a piece of parchment paper.  Set aside.

On a lightly floured surface, divide the bread dough into 12 even pieces.  Roll each piece into a ball.  Working with one piece of dough at a time, flatten bread dough into a circle that is about 1/4″ thick.  Place about 1/4 cup of the meat filling into the center of the dough circle.  Gather up the edges of the dough around the filling and cinch to seal.  Place seam side down on the parchment lined pan.  Repeat until all the dough is used.

Gently cover the dough with a piece of lightly oiled plastic wrap or a damp tea towel.  Let rise in a warm place for 15 minutes or until slightly puffy.  Brush with the egg wash and sprinkle with any desired toppings.

Slide the pan into the preheated oven on the center rack.  Bake for 18-24 minutes, rotating the pan 180 degrees halfway through the cooking time, or until the rolls are deep brown and shiny and the bread is cooked all the way through. Remove the pan from the oven and let the rolls rest on the pan for 5 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.  Let the rolls rest at least 15 minutes before eating.

If you wish to freeze the rolls remove them from the oven about 5 minutes early and let cool completely on the pan before putting the pan directly into the freezer.  When the rolls are frozen through (about 6 hours), wrap each one in foil and transfer to a resealable freezer bag.  Kept like this in the freezer they will be good for about 3 months.  To reheat, place foil wrapped rolls on a pan and heat in a preheated 400°F oven for 15 minutes.  After 15 minutes, open the foil so the rolls are exposed and continue heating until hot all the way through.

Big Batch Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger Meal Starter

Yield: 5 meals worth of starter

Ingredients:

• 5 pounds 90% lean ground beef
• 1 pound sliced smoked bacon, cut into 1/2″ strips
• 2 cups ketchup
• 1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup cider vinegar
• 2 Tablespoons prepared yellow mustard
• 3-5 cloves of garlic, peeled and minced
• 1 teaspoon Kosher salt
• 1/4-1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
• 4 cups shredded Cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese
• freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Optional:

• 1 small onion, peeled and finely chopped

In a very large skillet (or a stove-top safe roasting pan over two burners) cook the bacon strips over medium heat, stirring frequently, until deeply colored and crispy. Use a slotted spoon to transfer the crisp bacon to a paper towel lined plate.  Cover the plate with foil and set aside.  Drain most of the fat from the pan, leaving about 1 Tablespoon, and return the pan to medium heat.

(If using the optional onions, add them to the pan now.)

Break up the ground beef into the pan.  Cook the beef, stirring and breaking up large clumps of the beef, until the beef is browned and no longer pink in the center.  If necessary (if there is a lot of liquid or fat remaining after browning the beef), drain the beef in a colander, wipe the additional fat from the pan, and return the drained beef to the pan.

Lower the heat on the pan to medium low and add the ketchup, sugar, cider vinegar, mustard, garlic, salt and red pepper flakes to the beef mixture.  Stir to evenly coat and cook until the sauce coats all the beef and is hot.  Add the reserved bacon and shredded cheese and stir until the cheese is completely melted and the bacon is evenly distributed.  Taste and add black pepper to your liking.

Divide the beef mixture into heat-safe containers with tight fitting lids.  I usually divide the starter into 3 cup portions. Cool quickly (by resting in a bowl with ice water halfway up the sides of the containers.)  The beef mixture will be good in the refrigerator for four days or in the freezer for up to four months.

Buttermilk Sandwich Bread

Ingredients:

• 1-1/2 cups Cultured Buttermilk (You’re making your own, right?)
• 2 Tablespoons softened butter
• 4 cups bread flour (1 pound and 1 ounce by weight.)
• 2 Tablespoons sugar
• 1 Tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon vital wheat gluten (If you can’t find this it can be omitted, but it helps the structure and texture of the finished bread.)
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 2-1/2 teaspoons instant yeast or SAF yeast

Optional:

• 1 egg beaten with 1 Tablespoon tepid water to glaze the bread

Bread Machine Instructions:

Load all ingredients into the pan according to your bread machine manufacturer’s instructions.  Program for a simple white cycle and press START.

Immediately remove bread from the pan to a cooling rack when the cycle is finished.  Cool completely before slicing.

(For instructions on preparing bread dough by hand or with a stand-mixer see the printer friendly version!)

B.) It’s chilly.

C.) My husband was on a business trip this week meaning that I parented our five boys solo.

D.) My husband got in from that business trip at 1:30 a.m. this morning.

E.) I’ve been canning like a maniac for weeks on end.

F.) I have a hole in my heart that was created by [...]]]> A.) It’s rainy.

B.) It’s chilly.

C.) My husband was on a business trip this week meaning that I parented our five boys solo.

D.) My husband got in from that business trip at 1:30 a.m. this morning.

E.) I’ve been canning like a maniac for weeks on end.

F.) I have a hole in my heart that was created by my utter lack of time to watch my favorite movies lately.

G.) I spent all of yesterday at the Angelica Farmer’s Market with the kids (who were selling their Mortar Men and Room & Linen Sprays) on what turned out to be, according to the market’s coordinator “…the slowest day we’ve ever actually had at the Farmer’s Market.”

H.) I wanted to prove that I am still capable of writing a post that doesn’t involve putting food in jars. Although, you really could actually put this into jars.  Just a thought.

There.  This is what I like to think of as front-loading with my excuses reasons behind this post. And now that I’ve been all efficient, I can go straight to the good stuff; Sweet and Spicy Chipotle Kettle Corn. I never really cared much for kettle corn because of an unfortunate incident as an exchange student in France*. I found it an affront to the great and noble salted and buttered popcorn of my youth. I viewed it as an anemic impersonation of caramel corn; food of the gods. And last, but certainly not least, I really, really REALLY didn’t like how very many times I had seen it written ‘kettle korn’.**

*I had been in France for about three months when struck with an incredible craving for crunchy popcorn. I stopped in the first Supermarché I could find and gasped audibly when I found a bag of fluffy white popcorn on the shelf.  I grabbed. I paid. I tore it open. I stuffed a fistful in my mouth.  I spit it out into a garbage can.  I was not emotionally prepared for popcorn to be totally sweet. White Cheddar or Salted? Yes. Sickly sweet?  Not so much.  And so my prejudice against any sweet popcorn that wasn’t caramel corn was born.

**Korn with a ‘K’? No way. That rubs ever CDO** bone in my body the wrong way.

***CDO: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in alphabetical order. The way God intended.

But inspiration strikes at odd moments.  As The Evil Genius and his progeny sat on the couch watching the Little League World Series (El Salvador vs. Saudi Arabia) our eldest pined -pointedly- in my direction, “I sure could go for something sweet to munch.  Sigh.”  The Evil Genius mouthed the words “kettle corn” in my direction and accompanied it with his most charming world-domination smile.  Then they all started ululating.*

*Sorry for all the asides, but this one is one-hundred percent necessary. The guys saw a Saudi mother ululating when her son hit a home run. They’ve been ululating since.  It’s been two hours.  Send help. Now.

Since I was afraid they’d carry on ululating if I didn’t whip up a batch of kettle corn I hied me hence to the kitchen.  I planned on doing one batch of the dreaded kettle corn for them and one batch of my favorite; salted with nutritional yeast (don’t you DARE gag.  It’s delicious.  Even if it DOES contain something called ‘nutritional yeast’ which admittedly sounds like it would be served by a very serious health food adherent with no sense of humour whatsoever.) I made the kettle corn, poured it into a bowl and -in an act that I really can’t remember consciously deciding to perform- sprinkled a generous quantity of ground chipotle powder over the top. Um. Whoops?

No.  Not whoops.  Divine.  Sweet, smoky, spicy, salty and crisp; this stuff knocked off my socks. Color me converted. Well, to the Sweet and Spicy Chipotle Kettle Corn anyway. You can keep the other stuff. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

I ended up making several more batches because it was eaten almost as fast as I could make it. The kids loved it.  The Evil Genius loved it.  I loved it. Score.

Now if you’ll pardon me.  I’m going to go grab my bowl and catch up on my movies.  Middle Earth, here I come!

For a printable version of this recipe minus the photos and rambling, click here!

Sweet and Spicy Chipotle Kettle Corn

Ingredients:

• 3 Tablespoons canola oil
• 1/4 cup of your favorite unpopped popcorn kernels (I love ladyfinger popcorn.  So small, so cute, so tasty!) + 3 extra kernels
• 1/4 cup granulated white sugar
• salt to taste (start around 1/4 teaspoon and work up from there.)
• ground chipotle pepper powder to taste (start around 1/4 teaspoon and work up from there.)

Regular Pot Instructions:

In a large heavy-bottomed pan with a tight-fitting lid, heat the oil and the 3 extra kernels over medium high heat with the lid in place.  Shake the pan every 10 seconds.  When you hear the three kernels pop, act quickly (while wearing oven mitts.)  Dump in the 1/4 each of popcorn kernels and sugar.  Put the lid back on very quickly and start shaking in a circular motion. Listen to the popping of the kernels.  It should pick up in tempo until you can’t distinguish the popping of individual kernels.  Keep shaking the pan. After that it will gradually decrease. This is where you need to pay the most attention.  When the popping tapers off to the point where you hear a two to three second pause between pops, you need to pull the pan off the heat and empty it into a bowl very quickly.

Whirly Pop Instructions:

In a Whirly Pop pan, heat the oil and the 3 extra kernels over medium high heat with the lid in place.  Keep turning the Whirly Pop handle.  When you hear the three kernels pop, act quickly (while wearing oven mitts.)  Quickly open one side of the Whirly Pop and dump in the 1/4 each of popcorn kernels and sugar. Knock the lid back into place very quickly and start turning the handle. Listen to the popping of the kernels.  It should pick up in tempo until you can’t distinguish the popping of individual kernels.  Keep turning the handle. After that it will gradually decrease. This is where you need to pay the most attention.  When the popping tapers off to the point where you hear a two to three second pause between pops, you need to pull the pan off the heat and empty it into a bowl very quickly.

~~Now for the good stuff…

No matter which way you cook it, when you’ve emptied it into a large bowl, sprinkle with salt and chipotle powder to taste, toss and stir with a long wooden spoon.  You don’t want to stir by hand because that melted sugar seriously burns!  Let cool for a couple minutes and then dig in!  Kettle corn keeps well in a paper bag with the top folded down and crimped for a day or two at room temperature.

You will note that the word ‘law’ is contained within the word ‘coleslaw’.  That is because [...]]]> After my admonition to remember coleslaw and beans in the Corn Dog Bread post I realized something; I had loads of bean recipes here on Foodie With Family, but not one single coleslaw.  That was a problem requiring an immediate remedy.

You will note that the word ‘law’ is contained within the word ‘coleslaw’.  That is because it is the law that you need to have coleslaw with summer classic meals; corn dogs, barbecued brisket or ribs, grilled chicken, and the like.  You can even go to jail if you fail to serve coleslaw with hamburgers*!

*That might not be strictly true, but it should be.

How have I gone so long without sharing my favorite coleslaw recipe with you?  I should be strung up by my toes and given fifty lashes with a wet noodle.  I am contrite.

This recipe came to me years ago from Val and we’ve been making it religiously ever since.  I should have the recipe memorized at this point, but the little cobwebby corners of my brain have been filled with knowledge helpful to tasks like not tripping over shoes in the middle of the floor, remembering to sweep the chair free of Legos before lowering myself into it, making the kids lock the chickens safely in the coop at night, and releasing the parking brake before easing Hannibal* out of the driveway.

*Hannibal is the new-to-us big burgundy passenger van we recently acquired.  It’s big, people.  Big big.  As in crossing the Alps on an elephant big. In fact, one friend pointed out how we would be providing a boost to the economy every time we filled the tank.  And her son helpfully mentioned that if I ever got confused after shopping I would have no trouble finding the van since all I had to think was, “Oh!  I know!  It’s the MASSIVE PURPLE VAN! It’s right THERE!” And I feed this child on occasion.  Why I oughta…

As I was saying, I should have this recipe long since memorized.  This means that I do not.  Thankfully, Val is on my speed dial. I use this speed dial very, very often.  In fact, the number assigned to her on my phone is starting to wear off and the phone is less than two months old. My itchy dialing finger may account for the fact that Val dropped her phone into the toilet this week thereby rendering the boys and me incapable of annoying her every fifteen minutes with ridiculous puns and questions like, “Do you remember that one thing we ate that one time at that one place?  Do you still have the recipe for it?”

Mercifully, step-maternal guilt kept her from happily taking a breather from our near-constant barrage against her peace; she kept her email window open the whole time.  And so, not even five minutes after a panicked email reading something like this:

“Hey!  Remember the cranberry coleslaw you make?  Do you still have the recipe?  I can’t find mine anywhere!”

Val kindly responded with the necessary ingredient list and equally kindly avoided mentioning that she gives me this recipe once quarterly on average.  And once again, she saved my dinner and life was good.

At least you didn’t know what you were missing, because if you’ve been having plain old coleslaw all this time, you are about to be pleasantly surprised.  I’m talking about Cranberry Coleslaw. I have to admit, the first time Val made this lo these many years ago I thought maybe she had jumped the shark.  The thought of stirring dried cranberries and almonds or sunflower seeds into a creamy coleslaw momentarily fired up my latent inner picky-eating 8 year old.  But then I remembered that Val has  never -for as long as I have known her-  presented me with something to eat that was anything shy of delicious.  After the first bite I stuffed my inner picky eater back into the box with a stern warning and a reminder that I’m a grown up now. I was convinced.  Cabbage and dried cranberries were meant to be together.  Sweet and tart cranberries turned out to be the perfect pairing for peppery and crunchy cabbage.  And when it was topped with a tangy, slightly honey-sweetened dressing and almonds or sunflower seeds it absolutely sang. Who knew?  Well, I mean aside from Val?

Are you ready for my usual “But wait!  There’s more!”? It’s healthy! It’s really, really good for you.  Because you replace all but a minute amount of the normal mayonnaise with Greek yogurt this is a coleslaw that you can eat with reckless abandon*. By using Greek yogurt, you preserve all the creaminess you would’ve had with mayonnaise but avoid all the fat and calories.  Can I get a “Glory, hallelu!”?

*I know, I know.  I say that a lot.  But I like eating with reckless abandon, so in all likelihood I’ll keep saying it.  Just so’s you know…

You can definitely do worse things than make a double batch.  It tastes better and better in the refrigerator.  In fact, as I type this, I’m tucking into a bowl of three day old coleslaw and it. is. amazing.  So if you were looking for a good coleslaw (or even if you weren’t) to go with your Corn Dog Bread, look no further.

For a printer friendly, photo-free version of this recipe, click here!

Cranberry Coleslaw: Printer Friendly Version

Adapted from Valerie Daly’s recipe

Ingredients:

• 1 pound bagged cabbage and carrot coleslaw mix (or 6 cups mixed shredded  cabbage and carrots)
• 1/2 cup Greek yogurt
• 1 Tablespoon mayonnaise
• 1 Tablespoon honey
• 1 Tablespoon lemon juice or white wine vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon Kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon celery seed
• 1/4 cup plus 1 Tablespoon dried cranberries
• 2 Tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon shelled sunflower seeds or slivered almonds

Use a whisk to combine yogurt, honey, lemon juice (or vinegar), salt, pepper, and celery seed to make the dressing.  Set aside.

Add coleslaw vegetables to a mixing bowl.  Toss in 1/4 cup of the cranberries and 2 Tablespoons of the sunflower seeds.  Pour the dressing over the slaw and toss to coat completely.  Transfer to a serving dish and scatter reserved cranberries and sunflower seeds over the top.  Store leftovers, tightly lidded, in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.

What is is about corn dogs that is so appealing?  Is it as simple as the whole “food on a stick” universal truth*? Or is it more complicated?  Maybe it comes down to the crazy appeal of the hot dog itself.  Perhaps it’s the [...]]]> Summer and corn dogs are like winter and hot cider; you just hafta.

What is is about corn dogs that is so appealing?  Is it as simple as the whole “food on a stick” universal truth*? Or is it more complicated?  Maybe it comes down to the crazy appeal of the hot dog itself.  Perhaps it’s the hint of honey in the crispy-exterior, moist-interior cornbread.  Could it be the cultural association of fairs and festivals and carnivals and summer fun in sultry heat? The vinegar bite of yellow mustard dripping down the corn dog?  I don’t know.  All I know is that when you say ‘corn dog’ I make like Pavlov’s loyal companions and drool.

Alas, having chosen to live in the middle of nowhere as I have done, I don’t often stumble across carnivals and their vittles.  And I won’t settle for satisfying my corn dog cravings with an uninteresting box of frozen mystery hot dogs covered in cloyingly sweet cornbread batter*. The only solution is to take matters into my own hands.

*I know that fairs and carnivals probably aren’t serving up Zweigle’s or Nathan’s or Hebrew Nationals in their corn dogs, but somehow the ambiance of a fair makes up for it. I just don’t have the carnival barkers, brightly colored tents or enough tattoos to compensate at home.

Corn Dog Bread is the quickest, easiest, tastiest way to fill that corn dog shaped void in my psyche.  Of course, being unable to restrain myself, I added a few flourishes to the corn dog bread that bring it more into my wheelhouse; stoneground cornmeal, candied jalapenos and chopped onions.  But friends?  If you want the real deal, the most honest representation of corn dogs without a stick that you can possibly get, just go au naturel; use good old yellow cornmeal from the round canister and ix-nay the jalapenos and onions.  I won’t be hurt.

It goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway) that this is the ultimate in kid-of-all-age-friendly food.  Cut up into squares, it’s easily tucked into a bag to take with you to baseball practice, on a picnic, at the drive-in theater or just out on the front porch enjoying that sweet summer breeze.  And this is easily turned into a vegetarian-friendly entrée by swapping out the hot dogs for veggie dogs.  Please ‘em all, I say!

Whichever way you make it, spicy or plain, serve with a plate piled with barbecue beans and coleslaw for the ultimate summer meal.

For a photo-free, printer-friendly version of this recipe, click here!

Corn Dog Bread

Ingredients:

• 1 cup (4.25 ounces by weight)  all purpose flour
• 3 cups stoneground cornmeal (15 ounces by weight) (You can use regular yellow cornmeal, but be sure not to use self-rising cornmeal here!)
• 1-1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 4 teaspoons baking powder
• 3 Tablespoons honey
• 2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon granulated garlic (garlic powder)
• 1/4 teaspoon granulated onion (onion powder)
• 4 eggs, beaten
• 6 Tablespoons melted butter
• 2-1/2 cups buttermilk (Don’t forget how easy it is to make your own real buttermilk!)
• 8 hot dogs, sliced into 1/4-inch rounds (You can use leftover grilled hot dogs or fresh hot dogs; either is fine!)

Optional, but tasty:

• 1/2 a cooking onion, peeled and chopped finely
• 2 Tablespoons Candied Jalapeno or pickled jalapeno rings ~or~ 1 fresh jalapeno, sliced into 1/8-inch rounds

Preheat oven to 375°F. Lightly grease a 9-inch by 13-inch baking dish and set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, cornmeal, soda, powder, salt and sugar with a whisk.  In a medium sized bowl or large liquid measuring cup, whisk together the eggs, melted butter and buttermilk.  Pour the liquid mixture into the dry mixture and stir lightly until the batter has mostly come together but still has some small lumps (Grandma’s notes specify to use a whisk.  I do what Grandma says.  It’s always for the best.)

Fold the sliced hot dogs and onions (if using) into the batter gently just until combined.  Scrape the batter into the greased baking dish and level the top.  If using the jalapeno rings, arrange evenly over the top of the batter.  Slide the baking dish into the oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and it tests done*.

*A toothpick or cake tester stuck into the center of the bread will come out clean.

Slice into squares and serve warm or room temperature with the usual corn dog accompaniments -mustard, ketchup, and hot sauce- or not.

…Whatever you do, and however you make it, don’t forget those Barbecue Beans and coleslaw!

“To which it do you refer?” I inquired.

“IT!” said Luke.

Luke was referring to this.

This sandwich blew my mind. It was the perfect sandwich. I do not use the phrase ‘perfect sandwich’ lightly. It is a very serious appellation to [...]]]> This last week, my baby brother Luke told me admiringly that I had finally done it.

“To which it do you refer?” I inquired.

“IT!” said Luke.

Luke was referring to this.

This sandwich blew my mind. It was the perfect sandwich. I do not use the phrase ‘perfect sandwich’ lightly. It is a very serious appellation to give a sandwich*. This one earned it.

*Could I possibly use the word ‘sandwich’ any more? There just doesn’t seem to be any way around it. And so I’d like every single English and composition teacher reading this to take a muscle relaxant right now to help them get through the rest of this post without cringing themselves into spasms.

Let me tell you what makes this bad boy so very bad*. The sandwich is built of naan brushed with ghee, tandoori style grilled chicken, cucumber and yogurt salsa, crunchy pickled onion rings and candied jalapenos. Un-bloody-believably delicious. The Evil Genius declared it to be ‘A Second-to-Naanwich’.

*Bad in a good way. As in phat. Not fat. It’s totally fly. I should probably stop now. Fo shizzle.

Every single component of this sandwich was made from scratch. Okay, so I didn’t grow the lettuce greens, spices or the chicken, but shy of that, all homemade. And over the next few posts, I will give you the recipes to make each component needed to reproduce this amazing sandwich in your own kitchen.

Even though this sandwich alone is worth the work of making each of these building blocks, you’re not just canning, yogurt, bread, and grilling for one purpose. Each of the ingredients can be used for multiple recipes. This is a springboard recipe. Once you’ve mastered each component, the world is your oyster. Are you ready for the first part? Here we go!

We’re starting with Candied Jalapenos for a very good reason. After being made, they need to sit for at least two weeks before you crack open the jar to start eating them. And by need, I mean it’s strictly optional, but you’ll be glad that you did. The flavors need time to meld and marry.

Candied Jalapenos. Ah. There’s a story here. A couple months ago, my friend Katie casually mentioned eating a sandwich made with candied jalapenos. She was singing the praises of what she described as an addictive jar of goodies. Then she said the magic words, “I wish I could figure out how to make these at home.” By this point, you know me enough to know what affect that statement has on me, right?  I quizzed her on the texture, flavor, and appearance of the jalapeno rings. I begged for photographs. I had her send me a picture of the ingredient list on the label. I asked her to describe the flavor to the very best of her food blogging abilities. She was game. She provided all the information and even sent a link to a recipe that she thought looked like it would come close to the benchmark for her.

After carefully examining close to thirty recipes on candied jalapenos (who KNEW there were so many people candying jalapenos?) I called my local Cooperative Extension office to pick the brain of their home food preservation specialists. Since jalapenos are a low-acid food, some precautions need to be taken when canning them. You have two choices for safely canning peppers of any kind; you can pressure can them or you can acidify (i.e. add vinegar, lemon juice, etc…) the liquid in which you pack the peck of pickled peppers.

I opted for acidifying the pepper liquid because I wanted to maintain some of the texture of the peppers through the process.  Pressure canning these would turn them to flavorful mush.  The result was gobsmackingly, head-spinningly, brain-addlingly delicious.  Sweet, spicy and savory, candied jalapeno rings are way too easy to eat on just about everything.  I’ve stashed them in sandwiches, chopped them up on baked beans, tucked them into tacos, used the syrup to brush meat on the grill, perched a couple rings on top of a cream cheese laden cracker and all sorts of other evil things.

For such a simple thing to can, these pack tons of flavor.  You’re going to want to make as many of these as you possibly can simultaneously, because once that first jar is cracked open you’re not going to be able to stop eating them.  And I mean it.

Hey!  Don’t forget to come back over the next few days to get the other components to my Second-to-Naanwich.  You will love me.  That’s a promise.

For a printer-friendly, photo-free version of this recipe, click here!

Candied Jalapenos (Cowboy Candy)

Yield: About 9 half-pint jars of Candied Jalapenos plus additional jalapeno syrup.

Ingredients:

• 3 pounds fresh, firm, jalapeno peppers, washed
• 2 cups cider vinegar
• 6 cups white granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
• 1/2 teaspoon celery seed
• 3 teaspoons granulated garlic
• 1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

Wearing gloves, remove the stems from all of the jalapeno peppers.  The easiest way to do this is to slice a small disc off of the stem-end along with the stem.  Discard the stems.

Slice the peppers into uniform 1/8-1/4 inch rounds.  Set aside.

In a large pot, bring cider vinegar, white sugar, turmeric, celery seed, granulated garlic and cayenne pepper to a boil.  Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes.  Add the pepper slices and simmer for exactly 4 minutes.  Use a slotted spoon to transfer the peppers, loading into clean, sterile canning jars to within 1/4 inch of the upper rim of the jar.

Turn heat up under the pot with the syrup and bring to a full rolling boil.  Boil hard for 6 minutes.

Use a ladle to pour the boiling syrup into the jars over the jalapeno slices to within 1/4-inch of the rim.  Insert a cooking chopstick to the bottom of the jar two or three times to release any trapped pockets of air.  Adjust the level of the syrup if necessary.  Wipe the rims of the jars with a clean, damp paper towel and fix on new, two-piece lids to finger-tip tightness.

*If you have leftover syrup, and it is likely that you will, you may can it in half-pint or pint jars, too.  It’s wonderful brushed on meat on the grill or added to potato salad or, or, or…  In short, don’t toss it out!

Place jars in a canner, cover with water by 2-inches.  Bring the water to a full rolling boil.  When it reaches a full rolling boil, set the timer for 10 minutes for half-pints or 15 minutes for pints.  When timer goes off, use canning tongs to transfer the jars to a cooling rack.  Leave them to cool, undisturbed, for 24 hours.  When fully cooled, wipe them with a clean, damp washcloth then label.

Allow to mellow for at least two weeks, but preferably a month before eating. Or don’t.  I won’t tell!

If you’ve been with me here at Foodie With Family for a while [...]]]> If I live to be a thousand years old I will never exhaust the possibilities offered by beans.  And what is there not to like about beans? They are- all at once- so inexpensive, so nutritious, so easy to store, so delicious, so versatile.

If you’ve been with me here at Foodie With Family for a while you’re pretty familiar with my adoration of beans.  They’re a quick, filling, el-cheapo way to feed a growing family.

“Quick?  Beans? Well, surely you aren’t making them from the dried state,” sayeth the doubting crowd.  Ah, but yes.  Yes, I am.  And here is where this post morphs from singing the praises of beans to evangelizing about canning.  Pressure canning, specifically.  And this requires a diversion of some length from beans…

Even if you were raised in a family who canned a great deal of food (as I was) chances are you heard something like this regarding pressure canning, “Pressure canners are DANGEROUS!  My Aunt Bertha had one explode on her once.  She leapt in front of it to protect the baby who was walking through the kitchen. They had to pull shrapnel from her neck.  Just missed the jugular.”  (The preceding cautionary tale was an amalgam of the pressure-canning horror stories from my own family members and friends.)  The truth is that pressure canners were dangerous.

The operative word here is ‘were’.  The reason so many of us have heirloom pressure canner tales of gore from ages of yore is because there were so many of them that actually exploded. But there is a whole new generation of pressure canners on the market now.  They have ratcheting, locking lids with metal-to-metal seals instead of  the inferior rubber gasket seals and their disturbing likelihood to warp, crack or otherwise deteriorate.

The Evil Genius has inspected Carol (Yes, my pressure canner has a name.  Don’t you name your appliances?) and pronounced her to be the domestic equivalent of a small-scale industrial sterilizer.  (And the man ought to know, he stares at/operates/programs/troubleshoots the real thing all day long every day. If the fellow who sits in front of the blast window on an industrial sterilizer waiting for little glass vials to explode says it’s safe, I think you can take his word for it.  And since I’m incapable of remaining on topic for more than three sentences, let me just ask one thing.  Does anyone else find it amusing that a man who is clearly NOT sterile [I remind you we had five sons in nine years] specializes in sterilizers?)

Hello?

Is anyone out there?

“Get back on topic already!”

I can take a hint…

Yes, well.  Here’s where I was going with this.  Pressure canning is very safe now.  Provided you use a new model pressure canner and follow the safety instructions.  And don’t let Aunt Bertha near it.  Just saying.

As for which pressure canner to use, I prefer this beauty:

This is the second to the largest model made by the Wisconsin Aluminum Foundry.  Yes, it’s a little more expensive than its smaller siblings or cheap knock-offs made by other companies, but it can hold and process fourteen quarts simultaneously.  Come on!  That’s seriously amazing.  That means that it twice as efficient as models that hold seven quarts.  And it can double as a big old boiling water canner.  There’s no boiling water canner on earth that can do double duty like Carol.

I have major warm fuzzies for this company.  When I broke my gauge (read: my fault completely.  I didn’t read the directions.) they replaced it –free of charge- even after I confessed what happened to it.  They sent it via Priority Mail.  Did I mention they sent it for free?  As in gratis?  I declared my love for them over the phone.  I think they’re used to it. But we were talking about beans, weren’t we?

Ah yes, these beans.

As if Facebook wasn’t a giant enough time hoover for me, I recently discovered the existence of the fabulous and aptly named ‘Canning’ group.  In this group was a picture of a batch of barbecue beans one member had made. The original recipe described them as being a clone of El Pollo Loco’s  BBQ Black Beans.  Having never been to an El  Pollo Loco, I had no idea what that meant.  One look at the recipe, though, and I knew I had to try it.  The method was so simple.  And the payoff was huge.

The hardest part of the whole project was waiting two weeks after processing to try them. Their hermetically sealed jars beckoned from their shelf in the basement, “Eat me!”

And boy, oh boy, these beans are good.  There is no hint at all of the paltry ten minutes of hands-on time (well, alright, twenty minutes if you count wiping and labeling the jars.) that went into creating this masterpiece. Smoky, spicy, saucy- they taste like beans that have baked for hours upon hours in the oven rather than beans poured from a jar that sat in the basement.  These beans alone are reason enough to justify the price of a new pressure canner even if they’re the only thing you ever make in it. How can that possibly be?

Let me paint you a little mental picture.  Let’s say, hypothetically, that you have five sons.  (Could happen, you know…) And let’s say that two of them are in a play; rehearsal is on Tuesday and the show is on Thursday, a column due Wednesday, paperwork to fill out at the bank on Thursday morning, a house full of company coming for the weekend on Friday and they’re planning on eating with you.  Right.  So, where in there are you going to find time to make a delicious and filling dinner for your company?  Try this one on for size.  Throw on a pot of rice.  Open and reheat a couple jars of Canned Barbecue Beans.  Put a couple links of your favorite sausage on the grill (Kielbasa, smoked sausage, link-chorizo, what-have-you…) and toss together a salad. Fluff the rice, top with the beans and sausage and serve with a salad and something icy cold to drink.

But hang on. It’s cheap, people!  It’s dirt cheap!  You can’t get food much cheaper than this, and you certainly can’t buy food of this quality for anywhere near this little in any store. And more banging of the drum… it’s so very good for you.  Fiber, vitamins, minerals, no funky preservatives or additives.  It’s great food the way food was intended to be.

For a printer-friendly version of this recipe, with no photos and sidebars, click here!

Canned Barbecue Beans

adapted from Creative Canning and Mary Kay Craig

• 1 pound (or slightly more) black beans or a mix of pinto and black beans, rinsed, picked over and soaked 8 hours or overnight
• 2 onions, peeled and small
• 5 small cloves garlic, minced
• 2 1/2 cups barbecue sauce (I used my favorite homemade Kansas City style sauce, but bottled sauce will do the job in a pinch.)
• 2-3 drops liquid smoke per pint jar
• 1/4-1/2 teaspoon ground chipotle powder per pint jar, to taste, or 1/2 of a fresh jalapeno, minced, per pint jar.

After the beans have soaked overnight, drain and rinse them.  What you see below is mixture of black beans and pinto beans that is approximately equal by weight.

Divide the beans between five clean pint jars. The beans should fill the jars about halfway.  Divide the onions and minced garlic evenly between the jars.

Add the chipotle powder (or minced jalapenos) and liquid smoke to each jar.

Add 1/2 cup of barbecue sauce to each jar. Notice how the pinto beans have been stained by the black beans?  That’s just inevitable.  Don’t let it worry you.

Then add clean, fresh water to the jars to within an inch of the top rim.  Insert a chopstick to the bottom of the jar two or three times per jar to release any trapped air bubbles.

Adjust the liquid if needed to maintain one-inch of clearance  from the upper rim.  Wipe the rims, add new two-piece lids and process, according to your canner’s manufacturer’s recommendations, at 15 pounds of pressure for 90 minutes.

How is that possible that you don’t have to cook the beans first? Pressure canning is more than just efficient, it’s convenient.  As you’re processing the jars, you’re also cooking the beans inside the jars.  It’s like doing a little bit of kitchen magic.

And now comes the tricky part.   You have to wait at least two weeks for the beans to soak up the liquid in the jar.  You could even wait four weeks for the ultimate experience, if you can stand it.  You’ll be making another batch as soon as you open up that first jar, though.  I guarantee you that!

P.S.  There was a really neat phenomenon that happened with these jars.  Because you form a vacuum inside the jars (by design) when pressure canning, the liquid inside the jars can continue to boil long after they’re removed from the canner.  One jar’s contents boiled for thirty-five minutes after it was sitting on the cooling rack!  The Evil Genius assures me that this is perfectly normal and safe.