B.) It’s chilly.

C.) My husband was on a business trip this week meaning that I parented our five boys solo.

D.) My husband got in from that business trip at 1:30 a.m. this morning.

E.) I’ve been canning like a maniac for weeks on end.

F.) I have a hole in my heart that was created by [...]]]> A.) It’s rainy.

B.) It’s chilly.

C.) My husband was on a business trip this week meaning that I parented our five boys solo.

D.) My husband got in from that business trip at 1:30 a.m. this morning.

E.) I’ve been canning like a maniac for weeks on end.

F.) I have a hole in my heart that was created by my utter lack of time to watch my favorite movies lately.

G.) I spent all of yesterday at the Angelica Farmer’s Market with the kids (who were selling their Mortar Men and Room & Linen Sprays) on what turned out to be, according to the market’s coordinator “…the slowest day we’ve ever actually had at the Farmer’s Market.”

H.) I wanted to prove that I am still capable of writing a post that doesn’t involve putting food in jars. Although, you really could actually put this into jars.  Just a thought.

There.  This is what I like to think of as front-loading with my excuses reasons behind this post. And now that I’ve been all efficient, I can go straight to the good stuff; Sweet and Spicy Chipotle Kettle Corn. I never really cared much for kettle corn because of an unfortunate incident as an exchange student in France*. I found it an affront to the great and noble salted and buttered popcorn of my youth. I viewed it as an anemic impersonation of caramel corn; food of the gods. And last, but certainly not least, I really, really REALLY didn’t like how very many times I had seen it written ‘kettle korn’.**

*I had been in France for about three months when struck with an incredible craving for crunchy popcorn. I stopped in the first Supermarché I could find and gasped audibly when I found a bag of fluffy white popcorn on the shelf.  I grabbed. I paid. I tore it open. I stuffed a fistful in my mouth.  I spit it out into a garbage can.  I was not emotionally prepared for popcorn to be totally sweet. White Cheddar or Salted? Yes. Sickly sweet?  Not so much.  And so my prejudice against any sweet popcorn that wasn’t caramel corn was born.

**Korn with a ‘K’? No way. That rubs ever CDO** bone in my body the wrong way.

***CDO: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in alphabetical order. The way God intended.

But inspiration strikes at odd moments.  As The Evil Genius and his progeny sat on the couch watching the Little League World Series (El Salvador vs. Saudi Arabia) our eldest pined -pointedly- in my direction, “I sure could go for something sweet to munch.  Sigh.”  The Evil Genius mouthed the words “kettle corn” in my direction and accompanied it with his most charming world-domination smile.  Then they all started ululating.*

*Sorry for all the asides, but this one is one-hundred percent necessary. The guys saw a Saudi mother ululating when her son hit a home run. They’ve been ululating since.  It’s been two hours.  Send help. Now.

Since I was afraid they’d carry on ululating if I didn’t whip up a batch of kettle corn I hied me hence to the kitchen.  I planned on doing one batch of the dreaded kettle corn for them and one batch of my favorite; salted with nutritional yeast (don’t you DARE gag.  It’s delicious.  Even if it DOES contain something called ‘nutritional yeast’ which admittedly sounds like it would be served by a very serious health food adherent with no sense of humour whatsoever.) I made the kettle corn, poured it into a bowl and -in an act that I really can’t remember consciously deciding to perform- sprinkled a generous quantity of ground chipotle powder over the top. Um. Whoops?

No.  Not whoops.  Divine.  Sweet, smoky, spicy, salty and crisp; this stuff knocked off my socks. Color me converted. Well, to the Sweet and Spicy Chipotle Kettle Corn anyway. You can keep the other stuff. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

I ended up making several more batches because it was eaten almost as fast as I could make it. The kids loved it.  The Evil Genius loved it.  I loved it. Score.

Now if you’ll pardon me.  I’m going to go grab my bowl and catch up on my movies.  Middle Earth, here I come!

For a printable version of this recipe minus the photos and rambling, click here!

Sweet and Spicy Chipotle Kettle Corn

Ingredients:

• 3 Tablespoons canola oil
• 1/4 cup of your favorite unpopped popcorn kernels (I love ladyfinger popcorn.  So small, so cute, so tasty!) + 3 extra kernels
• 1/4 cup granulated white sugar
• salt to taste (start around 1/4 teaspoon and work up from there.)
• ground chipotle pepper powder to taste (start around 1/4 teaspoon and work up from there.)

Regular Pot Instructions:

In a large heavy-bottomed pan with a tight-fitting lid, heat the oil and the 3 extra kernels over medium high heat with the lid in place.  Shake the pan every 10 seconds.  When you hear the three kernels pop, act quickly (while wearing oven mitts.)  Dump in the 1/4 each of popcorn kernels and sugar.  Put the lid back on very quickly and start shaking in a circular motion. Listen to the popping of the kernels.  It should pick up in tempo until you can’t distinguish the popping of individual kernels.  Keep shaking the pan. After that it will gradually decrease. This is where you need to pay the most attention.  When the popping tapers off to the point where you hear a two to three second pause between pops, you need to pull the pan off the heat and empty it into a bowl very quickly.

Whirly Pop Instructions:

In a Whirly Pop pan, heat the oil and the 3 extra kernels over medium high heat with the lid in place.  Keep turning the Whirly Pop handle.  When you hear the three kernels pop, act quickly (while wearing oven mitts.)  Quickly open one side of the Whirly Pop and dump in the 1/4 each of popcorn kernels and sugar. Knock the lid back into place very quickly and start turning the handle. Listen to the popping of the kernels.  It should pick up in tempo until you can’t distinguish the popping of individual kernels.  Keep turning the handle. After that it will gradually decrease. This is where you need to pay the most attention.  When the popping tapers off to the point where you hear a two to three second pause between pops, you need to pull the pan off the heat and empty it into a bowl very quickly.

~~Now for the good stuff…

No matter which way you cook it, when you’ve emptied it into a large bowl, sprinkle with salt and chipotle powder to taste, toss and stir with a long wooden spoon.  You don’t want to stir by hand because that melted sugar seriously burns!  Let cool for a couple minutes and then dig in!  Kettle corn keeps well in a paper bag with the top folded down and crimped for a day or two at room temperature.

This was some high-heresy for a girl raised awfully close to ‘The Cherry Capital of the World’.*  Why I thought cherries were gross I can attribute to two reasons: A) I didn’t like the whole spit-the-pit thing.  I was a tidy child. B) The only way to eat cherries sans [...]]]> I used to think I despised cherries.

This was some high-heresy for a girl raised awfully close to ‘The Cherry Capital of the World’.*  Why I thought cherries were gross I can attribute to two reasons: A) I didn’t like the whole spit-the-pit thing.  I was a tidy child. B) The only way to eat cherries sans pits, as far as I knew, was maraschino cherries and I still maintain that those are disgusting.

*Nothing like some trivia to de-cobweb the old gray matter. Does anyone out there know which area I mean?

I realized the error of my ways long after moving out of state*.  I was at a friend’s house when she insisted I try a beautiful red cherry she had picked earlier that day.  I was blown away by the intense, tart, sweet flavor.  And I didn’t even mind spitting the pit. My devotion was deep and instant. But DANG they were expensive. On sale, loss-leader sale even, I couldn’t find pre-picked cherries for anything less than $2.99 per pound.  I lived much too far from any cherry orchards to make it cost-effective to drive to one to pick my own. Then we moved again.

*I have a  major food regret from my childhood. I wish I hadn’t been such an anti-cherry and anti-morel mushroom picky-pants.  I had both overflowing in my backyard free for the taking.

I am now fortunate enough to live in Amish country where the bulk-food buying and canning mindsets of my ‘Dutch’ neighbors combine to provide me with ample and affordable supplies of pre-picked fruits and vegetables at prices that would make grocery store managers reach for the antacids. This year, I pitted sixty pounds of sweet black cherries and I’m still canning my way through thirty pounds of pre-pitted sour cherries. The black sweet cherries rang in at $0.70 per pound and the pre-pitted sour cherries came in at a slightly pricier (but still bargain-basement price of) $1.26 per pound.  You already know about the Rum-Soaked Preserved Cherries and the Boozy Cherry Molasses, and I’ve been promising my Sweet Black Cherry Pie Filling recipe for an (indecently) awful long time.  How many of you are waiting out there languishing with a whipped ganache filled tart in hand just hanging on for a pie filling that doesn’t taste and look like glorified maraschino cherries and doesn’t plop out of a pull-tab can?  I am so sorry.  I blame my children.*

*Because I can. Yes, I can. A little laughter please? Can’t a girl get a little giggle for politico-culinary humour?

Why make your own instead of buying the cheap stuff? For the usual reasons; flavor and health. Store-bought canned pie filling can’t hold a candle to homemade in terms of flavor.  But just as compelling is the long list of nasty additives and artificial flavors present in the storebought stuff.  There are five -count ‘em- FIVE ingredients in homemade Sweet Black Cherry Pie Filling, all of which are readily available and pronounceable.

Ah, Sweet Black Cherry Pie Filling. What can’t you do? Sure, you can make a good old-fashioned cherry pie with it, but you can also top cheesecakes with it, layer it with brownies and whipped cream in a mean trifle, pour it on top of softened cream cheese to serve with graham crackers or make a deadly no-bake Black Forest Truffle Tart.  You want some of this on your pantry shelves. Seriously.

For a printer-friendly, photo-free version of this recipe, click here!

Sweet Black Cherry Pie Filling: Printer Friendly Version

From The Ball Complete Book of Home Preserving (see here for book details!)

Yield: about 8 pint (500 mL) or 4 quart (1 L) jars

Ingredients:

• 10 pounds frozen sweet black cherries, thawed in the refrigerator for 24 hours.
• 2 1/2 cups granulated sugar
• 1 cup ClearJel (Or Thermaflo or Permaflo)
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/3 cup lemon juice

Position a colander over a large bowl. Pour partially thawed cherries into the colander, cover lightly with plastic wrap and leave on the counter top, stirring occasionally, until you have collected 7 cups of juice in the bowl.  Set aside the juice and the cherries.

Prepare the canner, jars and lids. For more information, see our basic canning how-to’s.

In a large stainless steel or enameled stockpot, whisk together the sugar, ClearJel and cinnamon. When it is evenly combined, whisk in 4 cups of the cherry juice*.  Place stockpot over medium-high heat and bring to a boil, stirring constantly to prevent scorching. Continue boiling until thickened. Whisk in the lemon juice and return to a boil, stirring constantly. Continue stirring and allow the mixture to boil hard for 1 minute. Add the reserved cherries all at once, stir in gently, and continue stirring constantly while returning to a boil. Remove the pan from the heat.

*You can freeze or can the remaining juice or turn it into Boozy Cherry Molasses. The basic instructions remain the same, just add half as much sugar (by volume) and go forth with the directions from there.

Scoop the hot pie filling into the hot jars allowing 1-inch of headspace to remain between the pie filling and the rim of the jar.  Remove air bubbles from the filling by inserting a long, flexible spatula or chopstick into the jars. Wipe the jar rims and position the lids in place.  Screw the rings onto the jars to fingertip tight.

Place jars in a canner, cover with hot tap water by at least 1-inch, cover, and place covered canner over high-heat to bring the water to a boil.  Once the water is boiling hard, you can begin timing; both pints and quarts must be processed for 35 minutes.  After 35 minutes, turn off the heat, remove the lid and let the jars remain in the water for an additional 5 minutes.  Remove to a cooling rack or towel lined counter and allow to cool, undisturbed, for 24 hours before removing rings, wiping jars clean and labeling. Processed and sealed pie filling can be stored in a cool, dark place for a year or so.

~~~~

Before I leave you to whipping up your own batch of Sweet Black Cherry Pie Filling I want to let you in on a dirty little secret. I have a treat that I allow myself that I refer to as Mommy’s Little Helper. It’s the thing that stands between sanity and selling my children to the nearest traveling circus and it is as simple as it is delicious. Just dip a spoon into your resident jar of Nutella (you DO have one, don’t you?) and top with a dollop of Sweet Black Cherry Pie Filling.  Open mouth. Insert. Oh sure, you could  class it up a little and serve it on graham crackers or chocolate wafer cookies, but then it’s not so naughty -and therefore- not so much fun. Danger. It’s my middle name.

I have to admit that Celery Soda is not exactly a normal sounding recipe.  While watching Alton Brown whip together this recipe on Good Eats, my first thought was, “Celery WHAT?”  My incredulity notwithstanding, the idea took hold.

And boy did it ever take hold.  My brain kept trying to imagine how a syrup steeped with celery [...]]]>

I have to admit that Celery Soda is not exactly a normal sounding recipe.  While watching Alton Brown whip together this recipe on Good Eats, my first thought was, “Celery WHAT?”  My incredulity notwithstanding, the idea took hold.

And boy did it ever take hold.  My brain kept trying to imagine how a syrup steeped with celery seeds would taste.  It’s not that it was a huge investment in time, resources or money.  It was just two measly tablespoons of celery seed, two cups of sugar and a cup of water. I enjoyed tossing around the idea of the soda almost more than I wanted to make it.  But make it I did.

And I could kick myself for waiting so long.

It’s not good.

It’s great.

It’s more complex than I ever imagined it to be.  Trying to nail down the flavors for description is like trying to get boys into the bath tub.  In a word?  Elusive.  Two words?  Elusive and slippery.  Every time you think you have it it evades you.  But I’ll try.  For you all, I’ll try.

The first impression is not of the sweetness, although it’s right there; your first sense of the syrup is the light smell of celery.  It’s not quite identifiable as celery; it’s a fresh, herbal scent.  And it smells more of celery than it tastes of it.  That light, fresh, herbal taste  is present, but if you didn’t know it was made from celery seed you might not be able to call it.  The biggest ‘A-ha!” moment from the whole experience is that the subtle tongue-tingling feeling that you get when you eat celery is there when you sip the syrup mixed with soda water.  Even that is more of a lower case “Is this celery?” than it is a “Hey!  Celery!”

What is not elusive and slippery about this is how refreshing it is.  My word.  A tall glass of this on a hot day and the world will melt away while you stay cool.  Not as cool as a cucumber but as cool as celery. It cools you on a cellular level.  This is going to be my secret weapon during the dog days this summer.  That is, if we ever get dog days…

According to Alton Brown, the celery syrup in this recipe is invaluable in mixing cocktails.  Feel free to wing it.  Let me know if you come up with something wild and wacky and mixological.  Maybe you’ll invent the newest cocktail craze.  Could happen.  All because of this syrup.

I probably don’t need to tell you this, but I will anyway; this is so much better for you than most off-the-shelf sodas you can buy.  And it’s almost sinfully less expensive than the fancy-pants gourmet and all-natural sodas that are available.  We’re talking about pennies per glass here.  No funky additives, no High Fructose Corn Syrup, no wacky extracts or bizarro unpronounceable ingredients.  Okay, some might argue that Celery Soda is -at the very least- unusual or exotic, but it’s refreshing and really dadburned good!

Psst.   There’s one other thing.  But it’s for adults-only.  I’ve been told by a reliable source that celery (in all it’s forms) has some potent aphrodisiac effects;  so use with caution.  Or without.  Wink wink.

Now you might print this one and  put it in the pile of recipes to try or file it away or bookmark it.  I’m all about that.  But don’t let the hot months get away from you before you try this.

For a printer-friendly, photo and innuendo-free version of this recipe, click here!

Celery Soda

from Alton Brown

Ingredients:

• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 1 cup of water
• 2 Tablespoons of freshly crushed (lightly) celery seed
• chilled unflavored seltzer or soda water

Stir the sugar and water together in a heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat until sugar is fully dissolved.  Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the celery seeds.  Cover the pan and steep, off of the hot burner, for one hour.

After an hour, it is time to strain.  Line a fine-mesh sieve or colander with dampened fine cheesecloth or coffee filters.  Pour the syrup into the strainer.  If you need to do this in stages, do so, but try not to overflow your cheesecloth or coffee filters as this will allow celery seeds into the syrup.

That wouldn’t be a disaster, but it would at a possibly undesirable textural element to your syrup.  Pour the syrup into a jar, fit on a tight lid and chill completely before use.

To mix a soda:

Pour 2 Tablespoons of chilled syrup into a tall glass with about 1/4 cup of chilled seltzer or soda water.  Stir well to combine so that the syrup is fully integrated into the soda.  Add ice to the glass and fill the rest of the glass with more chilled soda.  Serve immediately.  Ah!

Store unused syrup in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to six months.  That’s right!  It lasts for six whole months!

I’m going to warn you right now.  The cake is made with a pound (A POUND, PEOPLE!) of butter, nine eggs, a pound of sugar and a pound of flour. Then the cake is sliced, spread with yet more butter and griddle fried. It’s addictive.  And it’s swimming in caramel.  And it’s topped with crème fraîche. [...]]]>

I’m going to warn you right now.  The cake is made with a pound (A POUND, PEOPLE!) of butter, nine eggs, a pound of sugar and a pound of flour. Then the cake is sliced, spread with yet more butter and griddle fried. It’s addictive.  And it’s swimming in caramel.  And it’s topped with crème fraîche. This is not low-fat or low-calorie.  At all. On any planet. But I don’t care because it left The Evil Genius speechless.  All he could do was make big, pleading eyes and gesture toward it with his fork.  Yes, this is the same husband who is on a diet.  Um.  Hang on a second. I’m not mean.  I didn’t do this to tempt him; we had company that we hadn’t seen in a long time and I wanted to give them a ‘wow’ dessert. He didn’t want them to eat alone. *

*”Because we all know there’s nothing sadder than someone who eats alone…” Right.  The man’s been on a diet for a month.  He wanted a piece of pound cake.  Trust me when I tell you that you can’t say ‘no’ when you smell a slab of this frying in butter on the griddle.  It’s not humanly possible.

He finished licking his plate (subtly, of course) and sidled back into the kitchen.  When I looked back at him he was halfway through another serving and groaning happily.  No shame.  No shame, I tell you.  (He’s awfully cute when he’s shameless…)

But you’ve been warned.  Now let me tell you why this is so absolutely addictive.

First, is the fine-textured, rich vanilla pound cake delicately scented with cardamom.  We’re about to move from painfully delicious territory to downright evil with a buttery, creamy caramel sauce that simmers away with paper thin slices of tart apples.  What we do next is nearly criminal.  One inch thick slices of the pound cake are buttered on one side and thrown on a hot griddle to fry.  When they’re golden brown with little flecks of caramelized bits, the cake is slid onto a plate, fried side up, to be topped with the buttery caramel and apple slices then crowned with crème fraîche.  Can you handle that? Because that is some serious dessert, my friends.

One final word of caution.  Make this when you have friends with large appetites dining with you.  Otherwise you just might find yourself eating it for breakfast.  Not that that’s a bad thing…

This is a multi-step recipe, but never fear.  I’m going to walk you through each little step needed to whip up this little beauty.  Each step is simple, but it’s important to hit each one!

For a photo-free, printer friendly version of this recipe minus my story about tempting my husband beyond his ability to resist, click here!

Vanilla Bean Cardamom Pound Cake with Apples in Caramel Sauce

Ingredients for the Pound Cake (adapted from Martha Stewart Living):

• 1 pound all-purpose flour (3-1/4 cups)
• 14 ounces (2 cups) granulated sugar
• 1 Tablespoon coarse salt
• 1 pound softened unsalted butter (4 sticks)
• 1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise
• 9 large, room-temperature eggs
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom

Ingredients for the Apples in Caramel Sauce:

• 1/3 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 stick (4 Tablespoons) unsalted butter
• 1/3 cup heavy cream
• 4 medium sized tart apples, peeled and thinly sliced
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Also needed:

• additional softened butter for frying
• crème fraîche for garnishing

To Prepare the Cakes:

Preheat the oven to 325°F.

In a bowl, whisk together the flour and sugar.  Set aside.

Add the butter to the bowl of your stand mixer (or use a separate large mixing bowl with a hand mixer).  Use the butter wrappers to liberally grease two five-by-nine inch loaf pans.  Cream the butter and sugar on high speed until it is pale and fluffy.  This is going to take a while, but don’t skip this step.  It’ll take about 8 minutes.   Scrape down the bowl.

Use the dull edge of a knife to scrape the ‘caviar’ from the vanilla bean.  Add to the butter along with the cardamom.  Beat on high speed again for an additional minute.  Stop the mixer and scrape down the bowl again.  Add two eggs to the butter and sugar mixture and beat well.  Scrape down the bowl then add another two eggs and beat well.  Scrape down the bowl again and repeat with two more eggs.  After scraping down the bowl, add the final egg and beat well on high to make sure your mixture is even.

Reduce the mixer’s speed to low and add the flour in four batches, mixing well after each addition and scraping down the bowl before adding more.

Divide the batter as evenly as possible between the two loaf pans.  Tap the pans several times each to help work out air bubbles then smooth the top with a spatula.

Bake for about 60-65 minutes, or until a skewer or toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean.  Let the cakes cool in the pan for half an hour before turning out to cool completely on a wire rack.  While the cake is cooling, prepare the caramel sauce.

To Prepare the Apples in Caramel Sauce:

In a two-and-a-half quart saucepan, melt the butter together with the two sugars over low heat.  When the butter is completely melted, raise the heat to medium high and bring the mixture to a boil.  Boil hard for exactly four minutes.  Now carefully pour the heavy cream into the pan.  It will splutter and splash and boil madly, so do this carefully!  As soon as it is in, whisk until combined and add the thin slices of apple.  Lower heat to medium-low and partially cover the pan.  Let the mixture come back to a simmer.  Allow it to cook at a bare simmer for 3 minutes, or until the apple slices are tender but not mushy.  Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla extract.

To Plate your Magnificent Dessert:

Slice the pound cake into one-inch slices.  Butter one side of each slice.  Fry on a hot griddle until the underside of the cake is golden brown with some caramelized bits.  Transfer, fried side up, to a dessert plate.  Use a spoon to scoop apples and caramel sauce over the hot pound cake.  Top with a dollop of crème fraîche and serve while still warm.

Prepare to be adored.

This is the face of a monster.

Merciless.

This is a face that destroys on a whim.

Unyielding.

This is a face that -without pause- devastates the entire population…

Of cookie jars.

This is my cookie monster baby.

Allow me to illustrate.  The Evil Genius and I went to Houston before Christmas and the boys’ soon-to-be-nominated-for-sainthood Nana (a.k.a. My Mom) babysat the entire [...]]]>

This is the face of a monster.

Merciless.

This is a face that destroys on a whim.

Unyielding.

This is a face that -without pause- devastates the entire population…

Of cookie jars.

This is my cookie monster baby.

Allow me to illustrate.  The Evil Genius and I went to Houston before Christmas and the boys’ soon-to-be-nominated-for-sainthood Nana (a.k.a. My Mom) babysat the entire mini-horde.  My Mom is fun.  All kinds of fun.  Proof?  This is her just last month.

That’s right.  That’s MY mom, on the climbing wall of a playground, wearing a skirt and cotton shoes.  I told you she was all kinds of fun.

But I was telling you about the cookie monster.

Nana had plans for these boys.  They were going to sled, camp in the living room, hike through the snow, play board games, make glue and poster board collages, eat homemade pizza, go to her favorite coffee house,watch movies, make Christmas ornaments and decorate Christmas cookies while having a frosting war.* And they were going to accomplish this in three days.  Did I mention my mom is fun?

*A frosting war is a Christmas tradition started by my mom wherein she flings frosting at the children and they fling it back at her.  It involves a great amount of butter, laughter, sugar and paper towels.

The time came for the Christmas cookies.  According to reports, the boys all enthusiastically decorated a double batch of sugar cookies shaped like trees, bells, gingerbread men and whatnot.  When the job was done and the cookies were stacked to be nibbled after dinner, the whole company retired to the living room to fulfill the ‘watching movies’ portion of the programme.

Forty-five minutes into the movie, Liam asked, “Where’s Leif?”

Leif was discovered in the kitchen with a plate empty of cookies (save one), sticky fingers and a smile that stretched from the tip of one pink ear to the other.  And a fierce sugar buzz.  Leif killed the Christmas cookies.

Today’s cookie recipe is one that I watched my Grandma make hundreds of times at the camp where I lived as a child.* Hey.  My Grandma is fun, too.  (My Mom learned from the best, you know.) I ate my way through more of these cookies than I could ever count as a kid and I’m still in love with them.

*Lake Louise United Methodist Camp.  Shout out to Boyne Falls, Michigan!

I’m not sure why these were called Amish Cookies but I have a guess.  They make abundant use of humble ingredients to turn out a cookie that manages to be  delicately caramel flavored, crisp on the outside, chewy on the inside and surprisingly sturdy all at the same time..  These cookies don’t fall apart when you dunk them in a tall glass of cold milk.  And they hold together beautifully when crammed into my apron pockets for stolen bites when the kids aren’t looking.  I do believe these are the perfect cookies.

The recipe, as written by my Grandma, suggests chocolate chips, raisins, nuts, chopped dates, coconut and other goodies as stir-ins.  Around these parts, I split the cookie dough into two bowls and stir raisins into one half and chocolate chips into the other.  This makes everyone happy; including the cookie monster.

And if I find that I’ve let down my guard and left the room before securing the cookies I don’t panic.  If my little monster eats his way through a cooling rack of these, at least I’ll have snuck some fruit and oats into him.

For a printer-friendly, photo-free, just-the-facts version of this recipe, click here!

Amish Cookies

Adapted from my Grandma Shaffer’s Lake Louise Amish Cookies recipe.

Ingredients:

• 3/4 cup softened butter (6 ounces)
• 3/4 cup coconut oil or shortening (6 ounces)
• 2 cups granulated sugar (14 ounces by weight)
• 1 large egg
• 1/3 cup molasses (3 1/2 ounces)
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 3- 1/2 cups all purpose flour (15 ounces by weight)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1 Tablespoon baking soda (not a misprint!)
• 1 Tablespoon baking powder (also not a misprint!)
• 3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
• 1/2 cup buttermilk (Don’t forget, you can make your own!)
• Optional: 1 -1/2 cups of any of the following ingredients: chocolate chips, nuts, raisins, coconut, chopped dates, dried cherries, or chocolate chunks.

Preheat oven to  350°F.

In the bowl of a stand mixer or in a large mixing bowl with a hand mixer, cream together the butter, and coconut oil or shortening on low speed until they the sugar starts combining with the fat.  Turn the mixer to medium high speed and whip until the mixture is fluffy and the sugar is completely distributed.

Add the egg, molasses and vanilla extract to the butter and beat on medium speed until even.

In a separate bowl, use a whisk to combine the flour, salt, cinnamon, baking soda and powder, and the rolled oats.  Add this to the butter mixture along with the buttermilk and beat until thoroughly combined.  Stir in the optional goodies.

On a greased or parchment lined cookie sheet, drop generously rounded tablespoons of the cookie dough three inches apart. Form the cookie dough into balls.

Use a flat bottomed drinking glass dipped in sugar to gently flatten the cookie dough.

Bake for 10 minutes, or until the bottoms and edges of the cookies are lightly browned and the cookies are set. Allow cookies to rest on the cookie sheets for one minute before transferring to a cooling rack.  Store cooled cookies in an airtight container at room temperature.

…And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t leave this little guy in the room alone with a batch of these cookies…

Truthfully, this dessert should be called ‘Why I almost ceased being a dog-owner’. But I’ll start at the beginning…

A good friend -who shall remain unnamed since she played hooky from work to come play in the kitchen with me- and I spent a couple hours working on this masterpiece. We made the ladyfingers from scratch.  The [...]]]>

Truthfully, this dessert should be called ‘Why I almost ceased being a dog-owner’. But I’ll start at the beginning…

A good friend -who shall remain unnamed since she played hooky from work to come play in the kitchen with me- and I spent a couple hours working on this masterpiece. We made the ladyfingers from scratch.  The mascarpone cream?  It was made of homemade mascarpone* and eggs from my chickens.  The blueberry compote was crafted from blueberries that the boys and I had picked and frozen last August. The homemade orange syrup for dunking the cookies was mixed with equally homemade Grand Marnier*.

*Show of hands, please.  Who wants to know how to make homemade mascarpone and/or Grand Marnier?  I’ll leave it up to you folks, but I’ll say this.  You can make 2 pounds of homemade mascarpone for about $6.00 and a quart of Grand Marnier for about the same amount of money. Any takers?  Tell me in the comments.

We assembled our tiramisu, popped it in the refrigerator and sat on easy chairs with our feet up to solve the world’s problems over a cuppa the finest.  Well, we tried anyway.  We didn’t get a whole lot further than discussing whether Kevin Gillespie (from Top Chef) was every bit as cool as he seemed on the show or whether he was actually cooler.  (Result: Cooler.  Definitely.)

We helped ourselves to dainty servings -due mainly to the fact that we ate the entire time the tiramisu ‘settled’ in the chill chest-  and ate it in raptures.

While I waved good-bye to *Whoops!  Almost said her name!* I fantasized about the size of the serving I would eat after the boys were in bed for the night.  I had it all planned out.

I would put a fluffy down blanket around my shoulders and tuck myself into the corner of the couch with a sinfully large bowl of the tiramisu and my copy of “Right ho, Jeeves!”

The Evil Genius came down from his lab and grabbed a large bowlful of tiramisu.  Since it was a bitterly cold day, he popped the lid on the trifle dish and sat it out on the porch to stay cold.  Then ‘it’ happened.  He leapt from his chair and ran toward the door with a look of panic on his face.  The cause of alarm became clear when I heard two things at the same time; Monsieur Evil yelling, “HAMBONE!” and the sound of a trifle dish skittering across the porch floor.

My 85-pound hound dog who is not under-fed by any stretch of the imagination ate my tiramisu.

And I have never wanted to own a dog less in my entire life.  Unless you count the time he ate my triple batch of lemon curd…

My plans for the evening flew out the front door along with a few well-aimed expletives at the dog.

My mother asked the next day whether the dog had experienced any discomfort from eating the better part of a very rich dessert.  My response?

“I sure hope so.”

At least I got a couple pictures to help me mourn…

For a printer-friendly version of this recipe minus the dog-related sob-story and pictures, click here!

Blueberry Tiramisu

Ingredients for ‘The Dunk’:

• 1 clementine or tangerine, washed carefully
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup water
• 1/3 cup Grand Marnier or other orange liqueur

Ingredients for Mascarpone Cream:

• 4 large eggs, separated
• 1 pound mascarpone (This is about 2 cups of mascarpone.)
• 3/4 cup plus 2 Tablespoons granulated sugar

Ingredients for Blueberry Compote:

• 3 cups frozen or fresh blueberries
• 1/2 cup water
• 2 Tablespoons cornstarch or arrowroot powder
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• the zest of one orange or 1/2 teaspoon orange extract

Additional ingredients:

• 50 ladyfinger cookies, homemade or purchased
• fresh blueberries and orange zest, optional for garnish

This is not complicated, but it helps streamline the process if it is done in order.  To simplify, I’ll number each step of the process.

1. Begin by creating the syrup that will be used to moisten the ladyfingers; referred to hereafter as ‘the dunk’. Add the cup of sugar to the cup of water in a small saucepan. Stir until the sugar is dissolved and bring to a full-rolling boil.  As soon as it begins boiling, remove from heat. Make several cuts in the clementine or tangerine so that it is sliced deeply enough to release some of the juice, but not deeply enough to break up the fruit.  Gently drop the clementine into the syrup, cover with a tight fitting lid and let it steep and cool for 30 minutes.  After 30 minutes, fish the fruit out, gently squeeze over the bowl and discard the fruit.  Pour syrup into a mid-sized bowl, stir in the Grand Marnier and place in the refrigerator to chill completely…

2. Make the blueberry compote. In a small bowl, stir together the 1/2 cup of sugar and 2 Tablespoons of cornstarch or arrowroot powder.  Toss with the blueberries and orange zest (or orange extract) in a medium saucepan.  Add the water and stir over medium-low heat until the blueberries start to give up some of their juices.  When there is more liquid in the pan, raise the heat to medium or medium-high and continue stirring until the blueberries begin to burst and simmer.  Allow to simmer for 3 minutes, stirring constantly.  Remove from the heat and chill in the refrigerator until cold all the way through.

3.  Prepare the mascarpone cream. Carefully crack and separate the yolks and whites from your large eggs.  Place the yolks and 3/4 cup of sugar into the bowl of your stand mixer or a large mixing bowl.  Using the whisk attachment, whip on medium-high speed until the yolk mixture looks thick, creamy and light-yellow.  Add the mascarpone all at once and whip on medium-high speed until evenly combined, about 2 minutes.  If using the stand-mixer, transfer to a large mixing bowl and set in the refrigerator.  If using a large mixing bowl and hand-mixer, simply put the bowl into the refrigerator and turn your attention to the whites.

Mega Important Tip: If you are using the stand-mixer, carefully wash and dry the bowl and whisk attachment before proceeding!

Whip the egg-whites on high with the whisk attachment on your stand mixer until they form soft peaks.  (In other words, when you raise the whisk from the egg whites it should form a little curlicue on top that looks like the tip of a warm Hershey’s Kiss.) With the mixer still running on high, add the remaining two tablespoons of sugar.  Run for one minute, stop the mixer to scrape down the sides, and return to high until firm peaks form. (This means that when you raise the whisk from the egg whites, you should be able to recognize exactly where it left the egg whites and there should be no droopy curlicue.  The whites should be very shiny and glossy at this point.

Use a spatula to scrape about 1/3 of the beaten egg whites onto the mascarpone mixture.  Use a whisk to incorporate the whites.  This lightens the mascarpone cream a bit so that you can more easily fold the remaining whites into it.  Scrape the rest of the beaten whites onto the mascarpone cream.  Use a rubber or silicone spatula to fold the whites into the cream. Don’t panic!  While it sounds futzy, it’s really easy to fold egg whites into heavier mixtures.  The best way to do this is to picture your mixing bowl as a clock.  Insert the spatula, blade side down, into the center of the mixture and gently plunge it to the bottom of the bowl.   Pull the spatula back toward six o’clock.  When you hit the edge of the  bowl, rotate the spatula so that the flat part scrapes against the bowl.  Turn the spatula back blade side up at a 45-degree angle.  Lift the spatula, and the contents on top of it and gently turn it over.  Rotate the bowl about 15 minutes (a quarter turn) and repeat until there are no little white ‘clumps’ of egg white remaining. By this point, you should have an even, creamy and fluffy mascarpone cream.  Place this, lightly covered, into the refrigerator until you’re ready to proceed (but no longer than an hour in advance!)

4. Time to assemble!  Plunge the ladyfinger cookies, one at a time, into ‘The Dunk’ and count to 2.  Lift for an additional 2-count to let extra syrup drip away and then arrange cookies snugly over the bottom of your trifle dish or serving dish.  Scoop about 1/4 of the blueberry compote onto the ladyfingers and spread toward the edges.  Top with 1/4 of the mascarpone cream and spread toward the edges.  Repeat the layers -dunked ladyfingers, blueberry compote, mascarpone cream- until you run out of one item or space to fill. Tightly cover the dish and refrigerate for at least 2 hours prior to serving.

5. The payoff: time to eat! Scoop into serving dishes and eat as is or garnish with fresh blueberries and orange zest.

Although I intended to hit points four through nine today, I think I should stick with four and five.  Why?  Between the tips, recipe and giveaway I once again  had too [...]]]> Today’s post is Part III of the “Saving Money in the Kitchen” series that began Tuesday.  You can read Part I here and Part II here.

Although I intended to hit points four through nine today, I think I should stick with four and five.  Why?  Between the tips, recipe and giveaway I once again  had too much information to cover in one post but also my iron is low and I’m sleepy.  So I’ll have a steak tonight, lick a few windowsills, chew on a couple rusty nails and try to cap off the ‘Better Living List’ tips on Monday.  I’m sorry.  Was that a TMI moment?

Don’t forget.  There’s a giveaway at the end of the post.  We’re also making these today.

How about a closer look.

Oh yes.  We’re doing wild things with these…

Right.  I ate so many of these that I’m now on a heavy-duty sugar buzz.  Must.  Focus.  Let’s get back to the money saving, shall we?  Got your notebook and pencil handy?

Plan your potential meals and make the most of what you already have available before you shop.

In order to plan the meals you will make you need to do three important things.

• Determine how many days ahead you will plan.  I think it is best to start with a smaller time frame –say, four days to a week- and move up to longer periods rather than preparing two weeks or more in advance.  I learned this the hard way back in the day when I concluded that if most people could plan for a week, I’d quadruple the efficiency and plan for a month.  I spent scads of money, packed my refrigerator, and abandoned the plan within 8 days.  I was too fickle with my tastes to want what I thought I would want two weeks after planning it.  Shoot.  In that time I’d moved on from a French food obsession to a fixation on Mexican foods.  Can you blame me?  The point is that I wasted money (and food) by planning too far in advance.
• Look through your refrigerator, pantry, cabinets, or wherever you stash your food.  Take note of what you already have.  Now look at list of potential meals you already made based on your family’s preferences.  (You did make the list didn’t you?) Compare the lists.  Do you have almost everything you need for any of those meals?  Put those down as meals you’ll make in the next week.
• How many more meals do you need to round out the number you have in mind?  Did you account for breakfasts, lunches and snacks?  Don’t forget snacks.  I did twice.  It was ugly.  One time I simply forgot. Another time, though,  I thought I’d leave them off the list to help improve our diet and cut costs.  On the third day I buckled and ran to the store with all five kids.  I raced up and down the aisles throwing fruit snacks, granola bars, bags of chips, rice cakes, candy bars and dry cereal in the cart.  It did not end up improving us.  If you plan snacks, you’re more likely to eat one that is at least semi-healthy.  Carrot sticks or crackers with yogurt dill dip is friendlier both to your budget and your waistline than a bag of chips and a tub of French onion dip.

Now that you have the list of meals that you’ll have over the next few days you have some other things to consider.

• Do you have any evening or weekend commitments that would require quicker meals?  Put your fastest meals on those nights.  Try to be realistic.  Don’t put a meal that requires an hour and a half of work on a weeknight when you’re going to be whipped.
• Do any of your meals require steps that have to be done a day or two in advance?  Make note of that on your meal schedule.
• Do you have to pack lunches for anyone?  Make note of that and be sure to have them done the night before you need them.

Know what you need beyond what you have to make those meals.

Let’s say one of the meals on your list is broiled salmon with soba noodles, ginger scallion sauce and cucumber salad.  Hypothetically, you have the salmon in the freezer, soba noodles on the pantry shelf, and everything but the ginger and scallions and cucumber for the sauce and salad.   In this case, you simply need to add seedless cucumbers, ginger and scallions to the produce section of your list.  Which brings me to a sidebar.*

*You need a standardized grocery list template.  I keep one on the front of my refrigerator.  When I run out of something or realize I will need it, I write it on the list.  If the front of the refrigerator is too public for you, tape it inside a cabinet in your kitchen.  Keep it and a- pencil- where you can get to it easily.  The list I use is a simple table I put together years ago  in a word processing program, but you can just as easily scrawl five boxes on a piece of paper.  The boxes get the following headings: “Produce”, “Grocery”, “Dairy/Frozen”, “Meat/Deli”, and “Household/Miscellaneous”.  When I say grocery, I mean shelf-stable items like dried pasta, canned tomatoes, flour, sugar, etc…  The ‘Household/Miscellaneous” category is meant to hold all my cleaning supplies, paper goods, pet food, motor oil and other things that don’t quite fit into the food categories.  Here’s a picture of the running list that is currently fixed to my refrigerator.

Once I’ve come down from my sugar high and grilled and eaten this giant flank steak on my counter top, I’ll get cracking on why it’s important to build flexibility and change into your plans and why, almost above all else, it’s important to not take any of this too seriously.  But for now, I have a recipe and a giveaway to tackle.

First, I need to warn you a little about my homemade Twix cookie recipe.  It makes quite a few, yes it does. That’s not the problem.  The problem is that they’re little.  And when food is little I feel justified in consuming many, many pieces.  If we were talking about, say, little bitty salads this would not be a problem.   But we’re not talking about salads.  We’re talking about bite-sized golden butter shortbread cookies topped with real dairy caramel then dipped in a dark chocolate coating made with heavy cream and more butter, so help me God. Have mercy on my soul, they’re so very good.  This has been a public service announcement from Foodie With Family.

If you are a better human than I am, you’ll stash these in the chill chest for a day before eating them.  Don’t misunderstand, they’re good when they’re fresh.  They’re too good as my now-burgeoning backside proves.  But the depth of flavor they develop after sitting for twenty-four hours is astonishing.

For a photo-free, printer friendly version of this recipe, click here!

Homemade Twix Cookies

Ingredients:

• 1 cup plus 2 Tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature, divided
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 cups unbleached, all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract or ground vanilla
• one batch dulce de leche (homemade or purchased)
• 12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 1 Tablespoon heavy cream

Cream 1 cup of the butter, salt, sugar and vanilla together until thoroughly combined. Refrain from eating this.  It’ll totally mess up your ratios…

Add the flour and blend until the mixture resembles moist sand with pieces the size of peas scattered throughout.

If you take a small handful and squeeze it, the mixture should hold together well.

Preheat the oven to 300°F.

Lightly butter or spray a 36 mini-muffin pan with non-stick cooking spray.  Mound the dough mixture into each mini-muffin cup.  Or have your sous chef do it.  You can clean up their job later.  This stuff is like sand.  You can just flick it into the wells with your fingers.

Use a small wooden tamper or your hands to press down the dough.

When all have been firmed, carefully use the tamper to push a well into the center of each cookie.

Bake for about 15 minutes or until golden around the edges.  Do not over bake.  Remove the pan to a cooling rack and cool 10 minutes before removing.  You may need to persuade the cookies to pop out.  If this is the case, cool until they’re sturdy and use the dull end of a butter knife to apply pressure to one edge of the cookie.  It should pop right out of the pan.  Allow cookies to cool completely before filling.

When the cookies are cooled, fill each well with dulce de leche.  Place each filled cookie on a clean rimmed pan lined with a silpat or parchment paper.  When all the cookies have been filled, transfer the tray to the freezer for two hours.

Before removing the cookies from the freezer, put the remaining butter, heavy cream and chocolate chips in a microwave safe container.  Microwave on high for 30 seconds.  Stir with a silicone or rubber spatula and microwave at 10 second increments, stirring after each one, until the chocolate is melted and smooth.

Remove cookies from the freezer and work quickly to dip the bottom half of each cookie into the chocolate, allowing the excess to drip away before replacing on the tray.

When they have all been dipped, return the pan to the freezer for thirty minutes.

If the chocolate has set up while the cookies were chillin’ like Dylan, microwave in 10 second increments, again stirring after each, until the chocolate is fluid and smooth.  Take the cookies from the freezer.  Drizzle chocolate over each cookie or pick cookie up and dip half of it into the chocolate.  You need to work quickly if you’re dipping the cookies as the dulce de leche will return to room temperature rather quickly which will make the process a great deal messier.  An impromptu poll of my Facebook friends revealed that a minority of them wanted the whole cookie dipped in chocolate.  I tried.  Really I did.  But it looked like a great lump of chocolate.  (And I ate them before I could photograph them.)

Store leftover cookies loosely wrapped in the refrigerator.  If you have ‘em.

Now the giveaway!

I want to help stock your pantry.  There are a few things that make life a little more pleasant when you have them on hand.  One of my favorites is cinnamon, specifically, Korintje Cinnamon. You may have seen teensy little bottles of this particular cinnamon sold at gold-standard prices at home kitchen gadget parties.  I was given a bottle once and there was no looking back.  This Indonesian cinnamon is sweet, fragrant and not-at-all bitter.  It’s a revelation if you’re used to the 99-cent bottles of uncertain age.  I want to give a full pound of Korintje Cinnamon from one of my favorite spice companies, Frontier Herbs.  It contains fully 3% oil.   It smells so, so good.  And one pound of this should keep you in cinnamon for a while!

So what are the rules?  It’s simple.  Leave a comment on today’s post telling me some of your money saving tips.  Don’t have any?  No sweat.  Tell me where you need the most help.  Is it menu planning?  Grocery shopping? Knowing what meals to make based on your family’s preferences?  How to get your dog to stop eating garbage?  (Well, maybe that’s my question.  If anyone can help there I’d greatly appreciate it.)  Is there any topic you’d like to see covered here on Foodie With Family?  One entry per person, pretty please.  Gots to keep it fair, you know.  I’ll draw a name next Wednesday when I complete the ‘Better Living List’ part of our “Saving Money in the Kitchen” series.